There are First World Problems, Short Girl Problems and British Problems.  But what about Parenting Problems?  They’re real people!

Letter blocks with the text the A - Z of Parenting Problems

 
Advice
It starts as soon as you announce there is a bun in your oven, and as far as I can tell nearly seven years later, it never stops!  From the mother-in-law to little old ladies in the street, everyone has something to say, whether you want to hear it or not.  “I know he’s not wearing any socks.  I gave up after the 10th time he took them off and threw them out of the buggy.”

Beakers
Finding the perfect beaker is as elusive as finding a lipstick that stays put.  Despite the ‘Non-leak’ promise, most of them leak.  And if they don’t leak, chances are your small person would have more luck getting the square block through the round hole in their shape sorter, than they would getting any water to drink from that beaker.  Then there’s the problem of giving your toddler the blue beaker, when despite asking for the “boo” one, they obviously meant the red one.  Hell hath no fury.

Sippy Cup Image

 

Clock Changes
Remember when the clocks going back meant an extra hour in bed?  Now that extra hour means an extra hour of trying to get your kids to stop prizing your eyes open and giving their best rendition of “let it Go” at 4am.  And you know what small people are not huge fans of going to bed in broad daylight either.  Velux blackout blinds are the only answer. Trick the kids into thinking it’s bedtime!

Clocks Go Back

Dribble
Doesn’t matter how many of those cute dribble bibs you have, you always leave the house with a little snail trail on your shoulder.

Early Nights
Lie-ins are for non parents.  The holy grail for parents is the early night.  Only by the time you’ve cleaned up, made the lunches for next day, put the washing away, done some eyebrow maintenance, caught up on the GBBO, and remembered you have a husband and had some face to face communication rather than passive aggressive text messages about crumbs on the chopping board, it’s midnight before your head hits the pillow.  
Early Nights

 

Fashion
Kiss goodbye to those killer heels.  You can’t chase a rouge toddler in them.  You can’t crawl around on the floor in a short skirt.  And having learnt from my friends experience, halter necks are a no go.  One minute you are holding your toddler in the queue at the supermarket, the next minute you are flashing you bra to the checkout lady.  True story.

Growing
Growth spurts come with the territory, but a trip to Clarks when they have both had a growth spurt is not for the feint hearted.

Hot Dinners
Ahhhhh new born babies.  Beautiful little angels with a built in sensor to know exactly when you have served your dinner.  This sensor omits a noise resembling that of a car alarm and is relentless until you have discarded your hot dinner to administer more milk. Don’t worry, you may be able to enjoy a hot meal again in 3 – 6 months.  Never a hot cup of tea though.  They are like unicorns in the parenting world.

Hot Tea
 

Injuries
Every parent has made the rookie mistake of feeling for a new tooth, and after several minutes of applying pressure and wondering if the bite mark will ever go, considered if they have spawned a little vampire.  The first of many many injury problems in the life of a parent.  Oh that Fisher Price headache

Mummy Injuries 1
 

Judgments
Everything you do as a parent, every decision you make, there will be someone telling you that you are wrong.  It’s a minefield out there people.  Only most of us don’t really want to pick a side.

Kids TV
A blessing and a curse.  It gives you time to pee alone.  But it also infiltrates your brain.  It makes you ponder about the life of cartoon animals, and any useful information you once knew, such as how to add up, is replaced by the names of all the paw patrol pups.

Raa Raa Question
 

Laundry
It. Never. Ends.  The day you actually achieve the impossible and find the bottom of the laundry basket, one of two things will happen:
1) Sickness Bug
2) Nits

Mount laundry

 

Music
Your ipod seems to have insufficient space due to all of the Disney playlists.  A major parenting dilemma is long car journeys with kids.  Do you… 
a) Listen to Alvin & The Chipmunks on repeat for 2 hours in an effort to curb any whinging?
b) Listen to your own music with the volume up high to drown out any whinging?

To Be Continued…..

Read the A-Z of Parenting Problems – Part Two

 Work 1
 
 
 
  

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Claire Kirby

21 Comments on The A – Z of Parenting Problems – Part One

  1. Haha! Oh the laundry! Just the other day I thought ‘ooh the clocks go back in a few weeks’ – a night I used to look forward too (clocks forward has always sucked, only this one is good). Then I remembered it will be rubbish as I have kids. #fridayfrolics

  2. Oh if only the coffee would stay hot…and the damned laundry when we had the nots — I have PTSD over that. That definitely should be the P one! Great post Claire! #FridayFrolics xo

  3. Oh no, the clocks going back! You’ve just reminded me that we’ll be enduring that torture later in the month! That’s going to be a long day…. These points are all so accurate. I’m still waiting for the day I get to the bottom of the washing basket! #fridayfrolics

  4. Damn it! I’d forgotten the hell that is “clocks going back!” Gah! I must remember to have the Peppa Dvds on hand this year. Personally I find it very rude that CBeebies have the audacity to sleep in by an extra hour. You would think they would endure that hardship with us and start an hour early – but no! Herumph. Love this. Looking forward to the next installment. Thanks for hosting #fridayfrolics

  5. LOL at ‘early night’! It really is the new lie in. I was nodding and chuckling away at your observations! The husband does seem to come after GBBO catch up and eyebrow topiary….mind you he put me through a double of Game of Thrones the other evening so revenge was his!!#fridayfrolics

  6. Oh yes the fisher price headache – and the lego barefoot torture too! These things will pass but not – unfortunately – the laundry mountain – ours has grown into several mountains and threatens to take over the house! Love your post! #Fridayfrolics

  7. No, No I refuse the Disney playlists! You are a good mum, I make my kids listen to my music choices, they are very well versed in Blur and Oasis and perhaps a little of Kanye 😉 #FridayFrolics

  8. No to Disney playlists… I’m a mean Mum and that’s where I draw the line! We do occasionally have the joy of KidsBop though, ugh. If you don’t get it in the UK its a radio station where current pop tunes are covered by groups of children. THE WORST. #FridayFrolics

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