My pushchair is my constant accessory right now.  school run, shops, park, it’s there with me.  It goes with every outfit, pair of shoes (mainly flat), and handbag (always huge), and will remain in fashion for the foreseeable future.  I have gotten so used to this accessory, that I feel naked without it.


A pushchair accessory does come with a few issues though.  When simple pushchair etiquette is not adhered to it makes me mad.  And when I say mad, I mean I will be huffing and puffing, tutting and rolling my eyes, and muttering things about you under my breath.  In general being very British about the whole thing.  So to save me from looking slightly unhinged please follow these simple rules:


buggy problems



Rules for Grown Ups:


  • Do not park your cars on pavements and not leave enough room for me to get pass with the pushchair.  Know that if you cause me to have to walk in the road with my pushchair to get around your car, I will accidentally kick your tyres as I walk pass.  I bet you are also the dick that parks in the parenting spaces when you don’t have any kids with you.

Family Space


  • If you are entering or exiting somewhere before me, please do me the kindness of holding the door open for me.  It’s simple manners.  Did your mother not teach you anything?


  • When I say “excuse me” because you have chosen the shop doorway as an appropriate place to stop and chat, please kindly move.  A half-hearted shuffle doesn’t make it any easier for me to get through, and there is a high chance I will run over your toes or ram your ankles with the pushchair.  Sorry!



Rules For Older Siblings:


  • If you are going to jump, let go of the pushchair.  Jumping, skipping, hopping, it’s all great fun.  All in a days work when you are a small person, and walking from A to B in a straight line is both boring and seemingly impossible.  It’s fine, you jump, skip and hop until your heart is content.  Just please do not do it when holding onto the pushchair so as not to dislocate my arms.


  • Please follow instructions in order to protect yourself.  “Let go and walk in front” instructions are normally issued because there is limited room for side by side. Failure to comply with these instructions results in collisions with inanimate objects such as wheelie bins and sometimes people.


  • Dangerous manoeuvres will result in being shouted at.  I know you’ve just spotted something really cool that you must look at this instant, but stopping suddenly in front of the buggy and causing me to do an emergency stop, or take you out, really isn’t in your best interest.  Pull that kind of manoeuvre when you are driving and people will call you names.  Bad ones.



Rules For The Pushchair Inhabitant:


  • Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times and remain seated.  If Mummy goes to prison for stealing because you grabbed something off the shelf when she wasn’t looking, she’s taking you down with her.


  • Shoes and socks must remain on at all times.  You may be oblivious to the judging stares and tuts Mummy gets when pushing you around with your bare feet on display, but know that all purchases of replacement socks and shoes are being deducted from your future education / property ladder fund.


  • Please do not scream and have a major meltdown when I put the rain cover on.  I do not put it on for fun.  Aside from the fact that it is easier to solve a Rubiks cube than it is to apply a rain cover, I am doing it to protect you from the rain that is lashing down.  I on the other hand do not have such protection, neither do I have hands free to hold an umbrella or stop the wind from blowing down my hood.  I will therefore be looking very much like a drowned rat.

2015-09-14 09.07.27 2015-11-06 09.54.12

  • Planking, screaming, and resisting restraint, every single god damn time is really not necessary/helpful/clever/productive/fun for anyone involved.



If we can all follow the rules then we can all get along just fine.


Do you have any to add?


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Claire Kirby

16 Comments on Pushchair Etiquitte

  1. Hahaha! Totally agree! Especially planking (seriously, what’s with that?) and people who park on the pavement. I always imagine having a go at them if they dare show their face or return to their car while I’m trying to pass. However this happened the other day, the car driver appeared from nowhere asking if I was ok and if I needed them to move. I ended up mumbling about how I was fine and for them not to worry. Damnit! Curse my inability to be confrontational!

  2. What is up with the planking and screaming, you are getting in the buggy one way or another! When it comes to people parking in the parent bays, I mean come on. I have a two door car so life is so much easier with the extra space. I pulled in to Morrisons once and some woman parked in the parent parking bay, she had a dog, I had a serious bitch fit hanging out my window shouting at her and heres the joke there was plenty of space everywhere else, she was made to move her car ☺ x #thelist

  3. Argh, those DICKS that park in family spaces at the supermarket. I usually roll my eyes, look distressed and helpless and sigh a lot when I end up having to park in a ‘normal’ bay when I’ve got NC and NG AND NL (the lab). It doesn’t do any good, of course, but makes me feel a bit better. Double buggy + dog = drink, I say! #effitfriday

  4. I would like to add re the plank situation.. ‘Don’t make me use my knee to hold you in the buggy whilst I use both hands to strap you in. People are staring.’

    Love this post. SO funny x #FridayFrolics

  5. The people parking on the pavement thing drives me BATCRAP! My road is awful for it. And then when people swing full speed round the corner they honk at me like I’M the problem here. Ugh. I get rage just thinking about it!
    Agree with the rest as well. One I’d like to add – When I’m getting off the bus, don’t automatically assume that I need help and attempt to grab the front of the pushchair. ASK me. If I need help I will tell you. And don’t get offended when I say “No thankyou”. #effitfriday

  6. Ahh I hate it when they do the plank whill trying to strap them in. Leo is 2 and a half and I still haven’t figured out the damn rain cover!! This list should be handed out every time someone buys a buggy xx #TheList

  7. My daughter is really anti-socks, so can relate to the judgy stares when she props her bare feet up on the buggy when it’s freezing out. I also hate when people don’t hold the door open or move out of the way when I’m clearly struggling to get by – a little help, please? #effitfriday

  8. Ha ha I’ve often left sainsburys with a can of hairspray or haribo that she stole off the shelf and had to take it back! Also my daughter used to drag her shoes along the bottom of the pavement and ruin them! Last year we went to Greece and did so much walking that the wheels buckled and we ended up leaving it in the hotel room and the maid took it home for her granddaughter who’s husband fixed it up! I have lots of pram stories lol…. #fridayfrolics

  9. I love everything about this post 🙂 People who just shuffle but are still in the way are my biggest bug bear, particularly when getting on and off the bus. When I’m in a bad mood I often snap and tell them it would be a lot easier if they’d just get off and then get back on when I’ve got past!

  10. Shops with narrow isles. They entice us and want us to look at the pretty things on the shelves but negotiating round them with a buggy /pram is not so great. Why do they have to put an obstacle course? Love your post. Happy pushing xx

  11. Drop kerbs. I think there’s a special place in hell reserved for people who park over them. And I’d like to add people who walk side by side and take up the whole pavement who refuse to walk single file so we can get passed. Grrrr.

  12. Hehe I love this!! The amount of people that just stand and stare as I’m trying to manoeuvre myself and my double buggy through a door… Just bloody open it for me Haha xx

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