If Mummy Pig Wrote a Blog

 

Daddy Pig loves a dinner party.  Everyone loves a dinner party!

I haven’t decided whose fault it is yet but last night was a disaster.

It marked the end of a particularly stressful week.  The little piggies broke my computer and I lost a whole days work.  George caught a cold from jumping in muddy puddles which I am entirely blaming daddy pig for. And Peppa had a falling out with Suzy so there was much drama.  Not to mention that we had the ‘joy’ of the playgroup teddy come to stay. As if this wasn’t bad enough, Emily and Edmond Elephant had the teddy before us and Mummy Elephant filled out a whopping 4 pages of activities they had done with the teddy. Seriously? Who has that much time?  So now I have to find 4 pages worth of activities to do with a bloody teddy bear.

Last night I had invited Granny and Grandpa pig over for a dinner party.  

I slaved away in the kitchen all morning preparing everything.  I spent the afternoon tidying the house, and doing 5 loads of laundry thanks to a wet week and lots of bloody muddy puddles.  I left myself just enough time for a quick shower before Granny and Grandpa pig arrived.  That quick shower lasted all of 2 minutes, yet still had 5 interruptions from the little piggies.  Can’t a pig shave her legs in peace!

The one thing that I asked Daddy pig to do was put Peppa and George to bed and make sure their room was tidy.  Ok, so that’s two things, but it’s not exactly rocket science is it?

For some reason Granny pig thought the little piggies would still be awake when she arrived, even though they have had the same bedtime since they were babies. She insisted on checking on them which is when the evening started to unravel.

A whole 30 seconds after their arrival.  

Daddy pig had not tidied their room like I asked, which is why Granny pig stepped on a squeaky toy and woke Peppa and George up.

Half an hour she was up there whist I was desperately trying to save dinner from being ruined.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she was feeding them Percy Pigs rather than getting them back to sleep. Grandpa pig went up to ‘help’, and by ‘help’ I mean wind the little piggies into an excited frenzy.  Before I knew it there was all sorts of shenanigans going on upstairs, and none of it involved little piggies going to sleep.

It had now been an hour since we were supposed to eat and quite frankly dinner was beyond saving, and I was bloody starving. Daddy pig and I had some harsh words in hushed tones in the kitchen.  I blamed him.  He of course blamed Granny pig.  

I may have threatened him with sleeping on the sofa and refusing certain privileges.

 

 

Daddy pig was dispatched upstairs to sort the whole mess out.  His idea and my idea of sorting the situation out somewhat differed.  I thought he was going up to put the little piggies to bed as by now it was nearly half eight, and I was already dreading grumpy little sleep deprived piggies the following day.  Apparently his interpretation of sorting the situation was to put on music and have a disco with the little piggies.  Seriously?  I was fuming.  Do I have to do everything around here?  Honestly, a few weeks ago Daddy pig was late for work because he thought it was Saturday, when it was in fact Thursday.  I sometimes feel like I have three children.  

And he wonders why I don’t want anymore!

Anyway, I digress, I went upstairs to get the little piggies back into bed and asleep.   I sat down to tell them a story but Peppa insisted she was going to tell the story herself.  At this point I didn’t have the energy to argue with a 4-year-old.  Especially an over-tired and over-excited 4-year-old.  I’m rather embarrassed to admit what happened next, but to the great amusement of everyone else, I fell asleep. In my defence I had consumed nowhere near enough caffeine that day, and I have heard Peppa’s ‘Princess Peppa’ story at least a hundred times before.

So there you have it, my disastrous evening.  

I think on reflection this one is entirely Daddy pigs fault.

If you are wondering about dinner, well Miss Rabbit delivered a take away.  Did they bother to wake me for it?  No!

 

Based on Series Three, Episode 14, “Princess Peppa”.  If you have small people of a certain age I’m sure you’ve seen it at least a dozen times. 

You can find Peppa Pig on Netflix which means you might have 10 minutes to drink a hot cup of tea or go to the bathroom alone!

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If your little one loves Peppa pig and muddy puddles you will have sympathised with mummy pig on more than one occasion.  I wondered what would happen if Mummy Pig wrote a blog...

 

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74 Comments on If Mummy Pig Wrote A Blog

  1. Haha – I love this! HAVE seen the episode a million times. Really hope Mummy Pig doesn’t actually start a blog – hearing more from those pigs is the last thing we need! #FridayFrolics

  2. oh I do feel sorry for Mummy Pig, having to suffer her whole awful family πŸ˜‰ Can you do one for Topsy and Tim but from the Mum’s perspective! #FridayFrolics

  3. Oh this is very funny and I love your naughty falling asleep – I would have done exactly the same – inspired! But seriously I hate evenings like that – nothing fun about them at all and those hushed harsher words in the kitchen are the worst aren’t they?! Hope the weekend brings some happier adventures for the Pigs! #FridayFrolics

  4. Subscribe! Subscribe! I love it. Perhaps they could add grown up subtitles to a couple of episodes, just as a treat for those of us that are big enough to be able to read and interpret expletives? Although I must admit that “certain privileges” has created images in my headiary that could mean that I struggle to watch it ever again… πŸ˜‰ Fantastic post as always x #fridayfrolics

  5. I am SO glad I missed out on Peppa Pig – it would have really wound me up! We had other shit to deal with admittedly…anyway, even not being a PP expert, this was so funny. You completely captured that nightmare scenario when grandparents arrive at bedtime. It brought back memories! Alison x #FridayFrolics

  6. Pahahaha!! Of Lordy, this had me chuckling the whole way through.
    The Granny and Grandad pig my boys have are very similar to those in your tale…mainly Grandad pig actually who thinks it highly appropriate to smuggle sweets up into their bedroom…
    Fabulous as always Claire.xxx

  7. Haha! I have to agree with Jeremy – poor bloody Daddy Pig. Great post – had me laughing all the way through!! Peppa is banned in our house by the way. I just can’t cope with that music any more. #FridayFrolics

  8. Now I am not a Peppa Pig fan, I’m sure my toddler doesn’t know if its existence and I am more than happy to keep it that way; however your version is much better. One thing that really would have naffed me off beyond all belief is that they ordered takeaway and stuffed their faces without waking you up! Disgraceful behaviour!

  9. Totes hilaire, I was imagining Mummy Pigs voice as I read it. I don’t have to suffer Peppa Pig with my kids anymore now they are bigger but *funny* how I remember the bloody episodes so well!! Granny and Grandpa Pig are wind up merchants aren’t they! V Funny post #fridayfrolics

  10. Now if only every episode of Peppa Pig went like this, it would be way more interesting than the usual drivel! Really made me laugh, I think Mummy Pig should pour herself a large glass of wine and kick back with a huge bar of chocolate! #fridayfrolics

  11. Luckily my boys din’t like Peppa at all, but I have seen enough episodes to know that Mummy Pig has her hands full with that lot.
    Briliant take on it Claire!
    #fridayfrolics

  12. Love this, and yes this would have been just what would have happened in that episode. I think N’s going off Peppa Pig a bit now – no more requesting it (although that might be because I deleted all the recordings!)

  13. Very enjoyable read πŸ™‚ Though sounds like a horrible evening….
    Grandparents, just don’t get it… I’ve expressly told my in-laws not to give biscuits to my 2 year old. And they still try to sneak them, or make him feel like he’s really missing out while his older cousins have one.
    When I listen to reason I’d blame granny and granddad. But from wife’s perspective it’s so often Daddy’s fault he might as well take this one as well.
    #thetruthabout

  14. Ha! The writers at Peppa Pig must be sh*ting theselves. This is genius! I love the bit about Mummy Pig having β€˜hushed words’ with Daddy Pig! Who hasn’t done that in RL? So funny. #thetruthabout

  15. Love it! I do think Mummy Pig has the patience of a saint sometimes and what a shame that she missed out on Miss Rabbit delivering a takeaway. I can imagine that Daddy Pig isn’t too helpful at times and all those muddy puddles would drive me to distraction too! πŸ™‚

  16. I thought this tale sounded familiar!! It sounds like Mummy Pig has it as bad as the rest of us! Worse even, considering the absolute brat that Peppa is (don’t tell her I said that!)
    Poor cow! Ahem..I mean, pig!

  17. Am about to drop to the ground and roll about laughing. My 2 year old is currently obsessed with Peppa and her friends, so I have regularly found myself staring mutely as those shows run over and over (& over) again. Poor Daddy Pig does get a tough deal…but the lazy pig deserves it! #TwinklyTuesday

  18. This was great!!! Every little detail was covered blog style. It was perfect. Have you done this with other kids cartoon characters? It could be an awesome series! #twinklytuesdays

  19. Great post! If you are watching too much Peppa, it only makes sense to write a post from Mummy Pig. Why do kids shows control our lives now?! My next post will have to be from the viewpoint of Peter Rabbit. I swear to god that show has made me hate rabbits. #TwinklyTuesday

  20. This really made me laugh, especially the thought of Mummy Pig shaving her legs and having ‘hushed words’ with Daddy Pig! I think you should pitch the makers of Peppa Pig your idea, to make a grown up version! Brilliant! x

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