I spent lots of time this weekend oohing and ahhing at the pictures of the gorgeous little Prince and Princess on the royal balcony.

Royal Balcony

(c)Daily Mail Online

I also spent a lot of time in awe at how well behaved they were.  Toddlers are nothing if they are not unpredictable, and I think it is down to luck, not parenting, that there were no meltdowns on that balcony.  Two toddlers, one royal balcony, and the worlds press, I mean what could possibly go wrong?  I think if you look closely though, you can see the fear in Kate’s eyes.  The slight pained look of a mother that knows if someone doesn’t get their rice cakes soon there’s going to be trouble.

Did anybody consider the kids nap times when planning the event?  Sods law any wedding I have attended with my children always starts bang on nap time.  The prefect time for the brides entrance when I have two cranky kids!  Naps wait for no man, not even Great Grans 90th birthday.

I’m not sure how they emerged onto the balcony looking so calm and composed.  There must have been shouts of “George, where are your shoes?  You had them on just a second ago.” And I’m sure Charlotte’s hair clip was placed back in her hair several times. There may have been a last minute outfit change due to excessive teething dribble.  What about those medals?  I’m sure medals have the same effect on little ones as keys.  Do you think WIlliam gives them to the children to play with to pacify them?


Royal poo face


Once out on the balcony for all the world to see any number of things could have happened:

“George, get down darling, we don’t climb on the balcony.”

“Charlotte please don’t pull Mummy’s hair.”

“Oh crap! George is doing the wee wee dance.”

“William, Charlotte has left a snails trail of dribble all over my coat.”

“I knew a delicate necklace was a bad idea, Charlotte let go please.”

“George! Stop trying to lift up Gan-Gan’s coat.”

“What’s that smell?  Oh!  William It’s your turn to change her.”

“George, please stop picking your nose.”

“Harry don’t give him any more sweets, we don’t need a sugar crash right now.”

“Charlotte sweetie, leave your dress alone.  You can’t be naked at this precise moment in time.”

“Wait! Did George just say what I think he said?  Where on earth has he learnt that kind of language? HARRY!”

“No Charlotte, Granddad can’t sing The Wheels on the Bus right now.”

“What do you mean you hate Airplanes George?  Yesterday you said you loved them.”

“Ouch! Ouch! Don’t pull Mummy’s earrings Charlotte.”

“Oh he wants his drink, give him his sippy cup.  The blue one is in my bag,  What’s that sweetie, you wanted the red one?  Oh. Shit.” 

 Sippy Cup Image


The Prince and Princess certainly did their parents proud.  My husband and I would totally be high-fiving ourselves right now, and congratulating each other on our brilliant parenting skills (you’ve got to take your successes when they come!).  Maybe royal toddlers don’t have tantrums?  Especially public ones, the kind where everybody stares and you hang your red-flushed head in shame.  But Kate, if they do, we totally get it.


Please check out the brilliant Right Royal Mother for all things Kate & William and a great big helping of wit to go with it.


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Claire Kirby

36 Comments on 2 Toddlers, 1 Royal Balcony, And The Worlds Press: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

  1. Pingback: Stay Classy Mama Link Party 23-06 |
  2. Haha! That’s so true! I don’t like the royal family, so I never watch any of these events or pay attention to them, & therefore it had never occurred to me to think it is odd. Yes, why don’t any of these disasters happen? But perhaps it is just luck – they only ever have them out in public infrequently & for very short periods, right? #fridayfrolics

  3. It must be so stressful being in front of the media with kids. It’s bad enough just getting out of the house, let alone standing on a balcony with the world watching. Still, I’m yet to see them in soft play, so they can’t be *that* good parents…

  4. Hah Hah! You’re so right, I hadn’t even thought of this before, but surely even royal babies must have tantrums, need naps and feel the need to explore their royal balcony surroundings?! I wonder how on earth William and Kate managed to look so serene?! #TheList

  5. There was a short video doing the rounds on social media this week where the queen was heard to be telling William to “stand up” braise he was bent over talking to George. I guess William isn’t as impeccably behaved as the kids 😉 I wonder whether William was hissing at George through gritted teeth “In a minute” lol. On a serious note though, I’m sure they have plenty of assistants to help out but yeah I doubt my kids would have even managed to hold it together for the time they were on the balcony. Infact my two would have probably been trying to beat the crap out of each other the whole time.


  6. I often think the kids’ first thought must be, “Who are you trying to impress with those medals, baldie?” Just saying. #fridayfrolics

  7. I love this! I’d never really thought about quite how “lucky” they were with this day till I read this post. Wouldnt you love to be a fly on the wall to know what those 30 seconds were like before they all stepped onto that balcony 😉 Emily #TheList

  8. Ha ha, George really is doing a bit of a poo face!

    I hadnt considered before how tricky it must be to get them to behave at this type of thing, my little boy would be all over the place screaming when he wasnt able to chew on the balcony or pull off that hat!!

  9. They were extraordinarily well behaved weren’t they! It hadn’t occurred to me before but mine certainly wouldn’t have been. Perhaps they practised… #thelist

  10. Haha, it always amazes me how well those little ones do and they remain so happy and composed. George seems to have not been affected by the terrible twos-not in public anyway! A lovely family x

  11. Hillarious! I mean who actually wears a hat with a big flower on it, and carries a toddler within grabbing reach, and manages to not have it dragged off her head pulling the royal hairstyle into an immediate “dropped on by a parachute” look? Who? How? Hmmmf.

    Brilliant post! xx

  12. I grinned to myself reading this, because when I saw that picture in the paper, similar thoughts were going through my head! I love your conversations, especially: George is doing the wee wee dance and Grandpa can’t sing Wheels on the Bus right now 🙂 Alison #FridayFrolics

  13. Just popping back and this reminded me of a wedding we went to when Oldest was a baby. When it got to the reason “do you know of any reasons why…” the church was silent, you could have heard a pin drop and then Oldest did the loudest trump! Awkward #FridayFrolics

  14. Royal kids are always suspiciouly calm. I don’t wanna suggest that they hypnotise them or drug them but they hypnotise them or drug them #FridayFrolics

  15. Ah such a cute pic and you’re right, they’re normal people with toddlers! Toddlers don’t care what their lineage is, toddlers are toddlers and Lord knows they’re messy 🙂 #Fridayfrolics

  16. Lol you raise a very good point – I would love to know what actually goes on – the all look immaculate something that doesn’t happen in our house! I love Kate’s hat she always looks so put together no snot or sick in sight … If only!! Thanks for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again next week x

  17. Aww Moms know how to hide that panicky feeling! Shes so graceful in hiding hers =P

    Lovely read!


  18. We have just been to a wedding and as the bride made her entrance my little girl said VERY loudly “I want a cheese sandwich” then insisted on lying across mine and my husband’s seat so we had to crouch down in front. Mortifying! #bloggerclubuk

  19. hehe. actually ‘Grandad’ got out of it and was hosting a street party in the countryside which has another type of poo smell, so he didn’t escape really!
    love the imagined chat – prob happened just like that, goodness knows how many necklaces i’ve lost to friends’ babies “ah what a cute babby with such chubby fists OY GERROFF you maniac.” yeah i know i’m not exactly perfect godmother material. Jo:)

  20. This is hilarious! And SO TRUE! HOW do they actually manage to keep the kids from having threenager melt downs at these events?! HOW is Kate wearing that hat without Charlotte yanking it off?! #bloggerclubuk

  21. Ahh this is so funny! I was just thinking this morning I hadn’t been to your blog for ages, sorry! They really were well behaved, I can’t even imagine how stressed Kate and Will were though… They are very cute kids! Just imagining Prince Philip singing wheels on the bus, amazing… #BloggerClubUK

  22. lol – love this – imagine the price that would be paid for the little prince engaged in a two finger nose picking session! Ha Ha!

    Thanks for linking up to #sharewithme – hope to see you next week

  23. Haha, they were very well behaved but I agree that you could see the look of fear in their eyes. I am totally loving the idea that Harry has taught George some naughty words too! #bloggerclubuk

  24. Actually good point… I always see these kids and don’t see them as ‘normal toddlers’ which is ridiculous as they are just little toddlers (albeit huge responsibilities in the future) now I’m quite envious, if that was my son he would be covered in teething dribble, yanking mummy’s hair which she should’ve got cut! #bloggerclubuk

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