I’m nearly 40. Actually i’m 39 and 2 months, but 39 doesn’t exist as an age. It’s just “nearly 40.” But I don’t feel nearly 40. In fact the thought of being 40 is making me feel a bit sick. I remember my Mum and Dad turning 40 so it can’t be happening to me. Surely I am not that old!
To help me come to terms with the impending four-o, I’ve compiled a list. The pros and cons of getting older list.
The pros of getting older:
1 I would be totally out of place in a nightclub.
This for me is a pro because even in my twenties I felt totally out of place in a nightclub. I’m much more of a dance around my handbag to cheesy pop songs kind of a girl, which is far more acceptable in your forties than it is in your twenties. I like to sing along to songs. Not listen to a repetitive beat that gives me a headache.
2 I’m told that when you are in your forties you have loads of body confidence.
As someone who has never had any and always struggled to accept the way I look I am very much looking forward to giving no shits and embracing my wobbly bits.
3 It’s less about fashion and more about style.
Getting older means dressing in a style that suits you rather then having to wear the latest fashion to look cool, even if skinny jeans make your legs look like two fat sausages. I’m old enough to have seen the clothes I wore as a teenage come back into fashion and feel the relief that I don’t have to wear them again. I did body suits once. I don’t have the bladder for all those poppers nowadays. I’m quite happy to be of an age where I have to question if something is a dress or a top.
4 I know what I like.
Make-up and cosmetics, movies, music, food, alcohol. I’m all for trying new things, but there is something comforting in knowing what you want from a product and having your old faithfuls to fall back on. I’m old enough to have experimented with every brand and not have to do it anymore. I no longer have a dressing table with every scent of impulse body spray and neon yellow nail varnishes. I know that hair dye mascaras were a crap idea and home waxing kits don’t work. I also now have enough money to pay a professional to do what shouldn’t be done at home!
5 There is less angst in my life.
The kids are always a cause for grey hairs. But I have a roof over my head, our finances are stable and I don’t have to fret about a guy not returning my call, or shouldn’t I be married by now. Strong and dependable is the new sexy in my life and I am all good with that.
6 I can wear a coat
Remember being young and freezing your arse off because it was so uncool to wear a coat. I don’t give two shits about being cool anymore. But I am toasty warm.
The cons of getting older:
1 Hair grows in new places.
I consider myself blessed that I have never had to wax or bleach any upper lip hair. However friends in their forties tell me that will be the list of my worries. There will be chin hairs and nipple hairs. The hairs on my head will also not be the only hairs turning grey. Best be stocking up on the imac now then.
2 Being in a different age bracket.
The other day I saw an advert for a face cream for women in their forties. Why do I need a different face cream? What’s going to happen to my face? Why can’t I still use the one I’ve got. I like it. It’s my old faithful. Why aren’t you targeting the adverts with the young pretty people at me anymore? It takes longer to scroll down the list to find my year of birth now. I’ve gone from the 25-30 bracket to the 30-40 bracket, and soon I will be just lumped in the 40+ bracket. There’s a lot of us in that bracket. I just get the distinct feeling that the opinions of those in that bracket don’t matter as much.
3 Middle Age Spread.
I’ve spent my whole life trying to control the spread. Are you telling me it’s now going to get even harder? I really hope this coincides with the pro about being confident.
I don’t want my face to look like it needs a good iron. I have yet to work out if this is an inevitability or something I can prevent. If I can prevent I would like to be able to do so without the use of needles in my face, and thus still having a forehead that moves.
5 Spicy food.
I love spicy food. It’s my favourite kind of food. In fact I am irrationally annoyed by people who say “I love spicy food, but it doesn’t love me.” Only the people that say that are older people. I fear that one day my stomach is going to decide it’s too old and has been abused enough and will say no to the spicy food. There will be no more chilli peppers and beef madras for me. My tastes will become bland and boring.
6 I don’t understand technology.
I used to laugh when my parents didn’t know how to work the DVD player. Only now I don’t know how to work the Apple TV. To be honest I don’t really care because I have no need for it in my life. But what if technology advances beyond my capabilities? I’m going to be in an old peoples home stuck watching The Antiques Road Show because I don’t know how to change the channel.
The not sure if it is a pro or a con of getting older:
1 My biological clock has sopped ticking.
Hooray! No more morning sickness and cankles. No more child birth! No more sleepless nights with new born babies and poonamis to deal with. I’m done.
But wait! No more baby scans and shopping for tiny sleep suits. No more new born baby smell and kissing soft fuzzy heads. I’m done, but I want it to be my choice, not my clock’s!
2 The men I lust after are all old.
For years I fancied Brad Pitt. But sadly he isn’t the looker he once was. Sorry Brad. Jon Bon Jovi was another, but he is now closer to retirement age than he is my age, and it just feels kind of wrong to fancy him now. At the moment I am safe with Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper, but surely they are heading down the same path. I’m going to have to start looking at the younger models. That might not be such a bad thing. Or is it just as bad to fancy someone young as it is old? Does that make me a cougar?
3 My life goals are complete.
I am happy with my life. I got my degree, I got married, I bought a house, I had kids, I love my job. Go me! But I still have an awful lot of years ahead of me with no goals. Unless it’s just the race to retirement now? Maybe I need some new goals.
4 I’m at my sexual peak.
It sounds like a good thing. Sounds like it could be fun. But what happens after I peak? Is it game over?
I don’t think my list has helped. I feel more confused than ever! I guess there’s nothing I can do about it!
39 Years Life Experience is a series about turning 40. To celebrate and try and come to terms with the next milestone I will be sharing a post each month about the things that I have learnt, and the things that matter to me, and maybe a few of my more embarrassing experiences, from my 39 years life experience. You can read more posts from the series here:
Check out these latest posts…