Before becoming a parent I googled normal things like; How many calories in a glass of wine?   Pictures of Gerard Butler.  Where is Andy Crane now? Since becoming a parent my google history has changed somewhat, and I have found that the things that parents google are normally strange and often hilarious.

I myself have seen things that can never been unseen by googling What does chickenpox / veruccas / headlice look like?   I’ve entered the realms of Mumsnet hell and felt like the worse parent in the world for googling Three year old not yet potty trained.  

There have been random questions when Cbeebies has melted my brain such as What is flop?  I’ve decided on whether to buy pets based on How long does a goldfish live?  And I’ve been super-mum when google has helped me answer Why can Superman fly, but batman can’t?

I think in may ways our parents had it easier than us, without the constant stream of ‘how to bring up your kids’ advice that is thrown at us today.  They didn’t have to worry about car seats, feeding us our organic five a day, and providing a balance of educational and fun craft activities for us to partake in.  BUT!  They did not have google to turn to at three am when your newborn has been guzzling at your boob like it’s happy hour.

 

Things that parents google

 

The Things That Parents Google

For your entertainment, I asked some fellow bloggers what are things that parents google?  And these were the hilarious responses:

 

Bodily Functions

“Two year old with green poo” – It was purple dye from a birthday cake he’s had an nurser, it turns poo green! I mean BRIGHT green!  Squats Sass and Saggy Skin

“My toddler refuses to poo, what do I do?”  Porridge and Parenting

“Black worm things in baby poo” –  Seriously freaked me out, but it was from eating bananas!  Bare Mother

 

Is pink fluff in poo normal?

Turns out he’d been chewing his Cookie Monster toy!! Crummy Mummy

 

Sleep

“Is my child Maggie Thatcher?” – I was very sleep deprived at the time and do have a habit of googling random things, but my 7 year-old still doesn’t sleep properly. She can survive on 4 hours sleep just like Maggie. Island Living 365

“How long can you survive without sleep?”  Maisy Meow

“Will my baby ever sleep?”  Miracle Max

“Can you die from sleep deprivation?” Raw Childhood

things that parents google

 
Eating & Drinking

“My toddler drank toilet water.”  Arthur Wears

“Are fake fire coals toxic?” Someone’s Mum

“Is it harmful to eat glitter”  Just Average Jen

“Can my child survive on yogurt and Quavers?”  Country Heart and Home

“Will dog food poison my child?” Five Little Doves

 

Is Sudocrem poisonous?

– After my daughter plastered it all over her face, the living room carpet, her clothes and everything else she came into contact with. The Daisy Pages

 

“Toddler eating paint will she be ok?”  Ankle Biters Adventures

 

Worries

“6 week old baby no eye contact does she love me” – After a particularly emotional day!!  Mouse Moo and Me too

“Why won’t my toddler wear clothes?”  Mummy’s Diary 

“Baby born with wonky nose..will it straighten?”  Ready Freddie Go

 

“Is it normal for a three year old to hump a blanket?”

Apparently it’s quite common!  Twinderelmo

 

“What does a spider bite look like?” – And yes, it turns out even the Uk has spiders that bite.  Edinburgh Life With kids

“Swollen baby penis” – I seriously don’t advise doing this!  Rock and Roll Pussycat

“Will my child get sick if they lick a dirty poo stained window at a zoo” – Obviously a silly question to ask google because of course she did! Motherhood: The Real Deal

 

Help

“What’s the best way to remove raisins stuck up 3 year olds nose?”  – Extraordinary amount of helpful tips!  Family Travel With Ellie

“What do you do when they won’t apologise, naughty step?”  – I was googling in the next room while my daughter was sitting defiantly on the stair. I literally had no clue what to do! Pink Pear Bear

“How to get wee smell off a new carpet” – Not the most glam but potty training! Mum Muddling Through

 

Random

“Do pirates like to eat cereal for breakfast?” – My 4 year old needed to know. Unfortunately Siri didn’t know the answer.  Mummies Waiting

“Can babies have dentures?”  Plutonium Sox

  

 

How about you?  What’s the weirdest thing you have googled since becoming a parent?

 

 
 

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The things that parents google. #humour #parenting

 



BritMums

 


Claire Kirby

11 Comments on The Things That Parents Google

  1. I had to laugh at the toilet water, I recently discovered my little monster eating toilet paper out of the toilet! Mortified but I couldn’t do much, it had already happened. I used to google LOTS about naps and sleep. I gave up in the end #fridayfrolics

  2. Haha – love it! ‘Is my child Maggie Thatcher?’ obviously wins! What a question! I now feel like I need to know if my kids are Maggie Thatcher. #FridayFrolics

  3. I can relate to so many things in this post! It is brilliant. Especially about sleep. The first 6 – 7 years, google and I were tight in the wee hours of the am! Thanks, Claire! #FridayFrolics

  4. Love this post! I’m forever turning to Google with random questions. I remember very well asking the black worms in poo one that turned out to be banana. I love how Google often auto completes my question after just a few letters, like it knows how mental I am. Oddest thing? Probably “does my baby have teeth?” After none had appeared by 10 months! She did have teeth, haha! X #fridayfrolics

  5. I loved this. It seems I AM NORMAL (ish)!! It is ridiculous the stuff we seek answers to. I have googled “Is my son talking to his (dec) grandfather?” That one freaked me out a bit… Yay Friday. #FridayFrolics

  6. I can relate to a lot of these 🙂 It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in Googling random and weird things relating to my kids! Thanks for sharing x

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