I have this sign in my house. House Rules. I love the sentiment behind it. Although in reality I don’t think the house rules are that straightforward or clear-cut. In fact there seem to be many sub-clauses and loopholes to the house rules…
Love One Another
Even when you think I am being unfair, when Daddy has said no, and when your brother bites you on the bum, love us. Even when I’m “ruining your life” (a tad dramatic I felt), and when I am grumpy, and I don’t have the energy to talk about Harry Potter any more, know that I always, always love you.
Say Please & Thank-you
When you say it unprompted it’s worth a whole lot more. And when you say it in public and Mummy gets complimented on your good manners, you get treats.
Give Hugs & Kisses
- Except for when you have a snotty nose.
- When giving a hug please try to focus on giving that hug rather than what the Ninja Turtles are doing on TV.
- Open mouthed kisses are acceptable when you are two. Biting kisses are not.
- Mummy and Daddy are allowed to hug and kiss each other without you trying to get in on the action, or running away screaming “gross”.
If You Drop It Pick It Up
Notice that the name ‘Mummy’ does not appear in that sentence. If YOU drop it pick it up. It does not say, ‘If you drop it MUMMY picks it up’.
You don’t have to pick things up that you haven’t dropped. Especially if we are outside. In that case, don’t pick it up, please just leave it where you found it. And when you ignore this rule, please definitely do NOT put whatever you have just picked up in your mouth.
As an addition to this rule, specifically for the youngest member of the family, how about maybe don’t drop anything at all. No dropping shoes and socks from the buggy. No dropping plates of food from the highchair – particularly baked beans. No dropping wet sponges from the bath.
Eat Your Greens
Please. Without me having to beg, bribe and bargain with you. Without me having to ask you at least ten times. Without sulking/whining/protesting and taking forever about it. Please just eat them. I don’t want thanks. I don’t want compliments on my ability to steam veg. I don’t care if you drown them in tomato ketchup, just eat them!
If You Open It Close It
Please do so without slamming. Oh and by the way this rule also applies to the toilet seat.
This rule is solely reserved for your purpose in life and your ambitions. In which case shoot for the stars. This rule does not apply to your actual bedtime dreams. This does not mean DREAM about BIG spiders and wake me up at 3 in the morning to check your room for said big spiders.
Laugh Learn Share Smile Forgive
I think we’re all good on the laugh, learn, smile and forgive. The sharing one could do with a little more work though guys if I’m honest. What’s yours is yours, and what’s mine is yours, right? And whilst were on the subject of sharing, what’s the deal with bananas? Why do you always refuse a banana until I want one, and suddenly it’s the most desirable food you have ever seen?
Unless it belongs to me. In which case there will be no sharing of any kind, and those daring enough to ask will be given the death stare. It is a universal law that giving birth to a child grants you immunity from sharing chocolate forever more.
Play Nice, Work Hard
Beating your brother over the head with a light saber doesn’t constitute as playing nice, even if he is being a “baddie” and you need to “destroy him.”
Leave the hard work to Mummy and Daddy for now. Your time will come! Just endeavor to do your best in all that you do.
Whining will never ever get you what you want, unless what you want is a time out. Plus it makes Mummy want to drink wine at unacceptable hours.
If You Turn It On Turn It Off
If you didn’t turn it on, leave it alone. I am referring in this sub-clause mainly to Daddy. If the landing light is on, it’s because I am upstairs hanging the washing out, and it really really helps to be able to see what I am doing. The very fact that this is a sub-clause tells you how often this happens.
Even if you think it might get you in trouble. If you always tell the truth I will always believe you. And if you lie you will get spots on your tongue.
Now if only everyone followed the rules!
My House Rules sign was from Next, although this is not a sponsored post.
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