40 things to expect in your forties

40 was the first ‘milestone’ that I dreaded. It felt a bit like “So what now?” I did the career thing, I bought a house, I got married, had kids. I ticked all the boxes and now there were none left to tick. But to my surprise I love being in my forties. It’s been my time to rediscover myself. Re-educate myself, and start loving myself. I am now rapidly approach my mid forties knowing all to well that time goes by so fast. Before I know it I will be googling Age UK Mobility! Here are 40 things to expect when your forties. Some of them quite unexpected!

1 40 doesn’t feel anywhere near as old as you thought it would when you were in your twenties.

2 You have to pluck your first chin hair.

3 You find yourself shaking your head at the clothes in Top Shop and heading to M&S. If you don’t know if it’s a top or a dress, it’s not the shop for you!

4 You care a lot less about what other people think of you.

5 You wish you had spent your twenties and thirties caring a lot less about what other people think of you.

6 You appreciate your body much more and are slowly beginning to be kinder to it and learning to like it. Heroine chic has a lot to answer for.

7 You google search history is mainly symptoms of perimenopause.

8 The boys you used to have posters of on your bedroom wall have lost their appeal are looking a bit soft around the edges. Being you still feel like a 15 year old girl it feels like some kind of old man fetish and feels a bit icky.

9 You have a crush on Harry Styles. Also feels a bit icky.

10 A night in is more appealing than a night out.

11 A night out out can make you feel like a grandma.

12 It takes a week to recover from a hangover.

13 You used to hear a cover song and vaguely remember the original. In your forties you hear a cover song and there is a high chance that the original is on your favourites playlist and you are deeply offended by the cover version.

14 You invest heavily in your skin care regime…

15 …and wonder if perhaps you should have made this investment in your thirties.

16 You need to sit down and have a cup of tea when you fin out that Friends finished 17 years ago.

17 One of your life regrets is that you will never get the hours back that you invested in Lost.

18 It’s only taken twenty odd years, but your eyebrows are finally starting to recover from being plucked to oblivion.

19 Fashion always comes back around, but now you are old enough to still have the originals in your wardrobe.

20 You are fiercely passionate about equality for women and fight hard against sexism. You’ve had enough of this shit.

21 Your kid can work the TV better than you.

22 Getting a new phone less of an excitement and more of a ball ache.

23 You get excited about buying cleaning products.

24 You miss the days of having a buggy you could shove everything under and are secretly wondering when it’s an appropriate age to get a sholley.

25 You have more time for you than you have for a couple of decades, and discover new hobbies.

26 You would much rather buy a new plant than a pair of new shoes.

27 You actually give good advice because you’ve got life experience.

28 You have absolutely zero desire to keep up with the Kardashians.

29 You need to get up to pee every night.

30 You find yourself enjoying working out and wonder who you have become.

31 You sometimes groan when you stand up. It’s involentary. You can’t control it.

32 You value those friends with who you just pick up where you left off.

33 Getting your PJ’s on straight after work makes you happy.

34 Primary school teachers and doctors are getting younger and younger.

35 You wear flat shoes and take a coat on a night out.

36 You lose the ability to speak teenager.

37 You pee when sneeze / laugh / cough/ jump.

38 Getting an early night is like winning the lottery.

39 You worry less about calories and enjoy food more.

40 You are fabulous.

What to expect your forties, is that it’s your time.

You might also get called “Mam”. What’s that all about?

This post is in collaborations with Age UK Mobility.

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