I know, first world problems, and let’s face it with Brexit and Trump, there’s enough of those at the moment. These are all slightly more trivial!
But this is my list of the 10 things that really wind me up (in no particular order)…
1 People reading over my shoulder
I hate it, whether it’s my phone, a book, my laptop, something I’m reading or something I’m writing. I can feel my hackles rise as people do it. It’s a really big invasion of privacy and downright rude.
2 People not holding doors open
I always check behind me before I close a door, and if there are people behind me I always hold it open for them. So it really irks me when people in front of me don’t hold the door open for me. Especially when I have the buggy in tow. Then there are the people that don’t say thank-you when I hold the door open for them. Their rudeness falls under the w*@#er category.
3 Bad customer service
There seems to be a theme of rudeness here, but bad customer service grates me. Especially in shops. Like when you stood waiting to be served and the two girls wearing ALL the makeup from the Mac counter are too busy discussing their outfit choice for tonight to notice you stood there patiently. Or even worse when they do notice, but their conversation is more important than you, you know, the customer.
4 Government forms
It’s no coincidence that this is on the list the day my self assessment tax return letter landed on the door mat. But whether it’s tax returns, passports, or any other form on the government website they leave me with the strong desire to throw my computer out of the window. I am a reasonably intelligent and educated person. Admittedly baby brain seems to have diminished the grey matter somewhat, but still. These forms are stupidly difficult and the exact opposite of user friendly. Why are they so overly complicated?
5 Fast-forwarding through advertisements
I’m aware this one might make me weird. But I love advertisements. I studied advertising at university, and I love how clever advertisements can be. I love to see how branding changes and develops. There are advertisements that become part of our lives, that are famous for being brilliant. The old Levi advertisements. The Guinness advertisement with the horses, “Tick followed tock”. And who can forget “Whassss uuuuup?” How will we see any future classics if we fast-forward through them. I know I sound like a geek but let me watch the advertisements. Except perfume ones. They are just weird.
6 Star Wars
I should be more specific here and say it’s the people that seem to be offended that I have no interest in the star wars movies, and find them to be the most boring movies ever made. There are at least 101 things I would rather do than watch a star wars movie. If it’s your thing, that’s fine. I have no problem with that. We all have different tastes. But stop trying to convince me that I should give it another go and that I am really missing out. Your Jedi mind tricks do not work on me.
7 Dog crap
That is the people that don’t clean up their dog’s crap. I love dogs. I would love to have one myself. But if you can’t clean up after your dog then you shouldn’t have one. School runs are stressful enough. Trying to keep on eye on two kids, not being ran over by scooters, no one losing anything along the way. But I also have to be on dog crap watch and seem to spend my life shouting, “Watch where you are walking”. Which of course leads to the inevitable scraping of dog crap from my sons shoes whilst dry heaving, internally weeping, and swearing under my breath.
8 Jeremy Clarkson
I feel a bit bad that there is an actual person on my list, but the man infuriates me and makes me cringe in equal measures. The sexist comments that come out of his mouth belong in the 1950’s. He is not welcome in my living room. If he appears on my TV screen, that channel is changed.
Oh my god I hate that word. I know it is in the dictionary, but to me it just sounds grammatically incorrect. There are certain words in the English language that do not have a plural, such as sheep and fish. There are also certain words that stay the same in past tense such as beat, hurt, and cut (there seems to be a theme there!). Text should be one of those words that stays the same in the past tense. To me saying, “He text me” is far more acceptable than saying, “He texted me”. Every time I hear someone say “texted” I flinch!
10 Clothing Sizes
How can my dress size vary by three sizes in the same shop? How can a size 12 be an extra large? Why is my size never in the sales? Why do they put the smaller size shoes at the top of the display rack, when logic tells you smaller feet equals smaller height, and now I can’t reach them!
Bonus items that very nearly made the ‘things that wind me up’ list were; rap music. Gym status updates. Craig David. People making unnecessary noise like tapping their fork on the table. Richard Madeley. And people who only give half the story on facebook, for example:
At A&E. Could be a long wait.
Why? What happened? Are you ok? For the love of god don’t leave me hanging.
So that’s the things that wind me up, tell me what infuriates you…