A Guest Post by Beta Mummy


As parents we make many rookie mistakes. These mistakes can leave us sobbing like a baby, pulling our hair out in frustration, or longing for the ground to open up and swallow us.


Eventually after enough time has passed we stop rocking in the corner, we are able to laugh about them.  This series is dedicated to the honest parents who admit they sometimes often get it wrong.  After all, I have yet to meet a Pintrest perfect parent in the actual flesh.


Every Wednesday I feature a post from a fantastic guest blogger about their funny and insightful parenting fails.  


Rookie Misrtakes Large



This weeks guest post comes from Beth who Is otherwise known as Beta Mummy.  Beta Mummy started life as a Facebook page with Beth’s hilarious doodles.  Beth took the plunge last month and started her very own blog, The Adventures of Beta Mummy.  


Rm Beta Mummy Logo


Mummy Bladder

The story that follows is in fact the third of three ideas I had for this post. I ran all the ideas past a friend and fellow blogger (Luisa @ Teach Tiny Minds), who informed me that I’d probably get Social Services knocking on my door if I published either of the first two.  So im afraid that, for now at least, you’re stuck with my rookie mistake number three.


This one happened after Small Child #2 was born. You’d think that by this stage, (now an “experienced mum” as my health visitor hilariously once described me), I’d have known better. But no.


So, three months after Small Child #2’s birth, it was Small Child #1’s second birthday party. We’d bought him an enormous trampoline in the vain hope that it would help burn off some of his….vigour.  (It didnt work, by the way – he now just makes use of the “safety enclosure” to enact cage fights with his little brother).


Me, being:
a) an idiot
b) slightly pissed (all the best kids’ parties involve booze for the grown-ups, right?)
c) over-confident about the state of my pelvic floor
decided that I simply must have a go on said trampoline.  In front of everyone. Whilst wearing pale grey trousers – you know, the kind that go dark grey when they get wet?


I don’t think I need to tell you what happened next, but let’s just say I haven’t been on a trampoline since.


2016-03-12 21.39.36_wm


Important lessons learned: 
Do not go trampolining shortly after giving birth to a 10lb 5oz hippo. And never again wear pale grey trousers. You’re a mum now.


2016-02-13 16.50.45_wmAbout Beth:

I’m Beth, aka Beta Mummy. I’m the mum of two tiny terrorists aged 3 and 2, and the three of us live by the sea in sunny Dorset.

I love to doodle about my (usually disastrous) every day parenting life, as well as drawing comparisons between Beta Mummy and the oh-so-bloody-perfect Alpha Mummy.



You can follow Beta Mummy  on  facebook and twitter where you will be laughing and nodding at her brilliant illustrations of life as a beta mummy.   Please show her your support and welcome her to the blogging world by giving her a follow.  

For example…

Alpha Mummy Beta Mummy


Has your pelvic floor let you down?!


You can read previous guest posts from the Rookie Mistakes series here.


If you are a blogger and wish to take part in the series you can find out more here.



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Claire Kirby

10 Comments on Rookie Mistakes – Mummy Bladder

  1. Oh SO SO funny! And the drawings are brilliant! Nearly had an accident just reading this! Oh motherhood is so glamorous isn’t it?! Thanks for making me giggle xx Louise #FridayFrolics

  2. No No No!!!! Saw that one coming like an avalanche and I couldn’t stop it!!! Was still giggling about your use of the term…’vigour’…I have one of those kids, too! #fridayfrolics

  3. Ha ha ha! I absolutely love Beta Mummy and her hilarious posts, rapidly becoming one of my fave new bloggers!

    Sorry to laugh at your shame, but this is a CORKER.

    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub Claire! I’m still thinking….

  4. Oh no I just bought some gorgeous pale grey trousers in Uniqlo! I’ll just have to steer clear of trampolines! Thank you for sharing such words of mum wisdom!

  5. I recently bought some pale grey yoga pants in the oh-so-chic Aldi sale… Why, oh why didn’t I consult Beth AKA Beta Mummy first?! Love the doodles and the story is hilarious too. Nice one, Beta Mummy x

  6. Have soooooo had that trampoline moment! Feels like gravity is plugged into your nethers for a moment!! Lunchbox made me laugh out loud. As you know I love your drawings and as a Mum of tweenies I know your inspiration will just keep flowing!! 🙂

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