I never really noticed that I was invisible before. But then I lost lots of weight and realised that I had been. But the weight loss made me visible. Now I have put weight back on I feel invisible again.
Now I am not saying that the invisibility is related to size. It’s not. It’s entirely related to self confidence. When I was slimmer I was more confident. I walked with my head higher, I made eye contact with people. I didn’t have the horrible paranoia that people were laughing at me or judging me.
I didn’t mind being visible. Right now I’m quite happy to be invisible. I don’t want people to notice me. I would rather blend into the background.
Human beings are such complex creatures. On the one hand I have crippling low self esteem. Yet on the other hand I can stand in a room and give a speech or a presentation to any number of people without a problem. When it comes to public speaking I can put this front on, and have loads of confidence. I wish I could apply that same confidence to the way I feel about myself.
‘Fake it ’til you make it’ is a popular buzz phrase right now. But is it really that easy?
I don’t think I’m ever going to reach the confidence levels of Kim Kardashian. There’s enough naked selfies in the world. And personally I think being too confident is a bad thing. You can come across as self absorbed and arrogant. I think there are far better role models and people to aspire to in the world than someone who can balance a wine glass on their arse.
I’d settle for content. Comfortable in my own skin, enough to not want to be invisible anymore.
So, any tips on faking it until I make it?!
Loving Me is a weekly weight loss series following the LighterLife Fast plan.
My Weight Loss Diary
What is LighterLife Fast?
LighterLife Fast is based on the 5:2 diet concept. You eat healthily for 5 days and then fast for 2 days on restricted calories. On the fast days you eat 4 of the LighterLife Fast food packs. These food packs give you 100% of your daily nutrition.
I feel more positive after lats weeks negativity. I’ve set myself a goal as something to focus on. My goal is to loose 2 stone by Christmas. We’ve got 9 weeks to go and accounting for my current weight loss that leaves 1 stone and 4 pounds to go. An average of 2 pounds a week.
It feels quite scary writing the goals down rather than it being an idea in my head, but hopefully it will keep me focused.
This week I am going to change my fasting days and rather than having two consecutive fasting days, have a normal day inbetween.
Week Four Weight Loss:
Total Weight Loss = 10 Pounds in four weeks
You can read other posts from the Loving Me series here:
Come back next week for part five and some recipes for healthy meals.
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