I’m not yet in a place where I can say I have self-confidence. But I am beginning to believe that I can get there. Self belief can get you far.
I hate the term ‘will power.’ It implies this kind of super human strength if you have great ‘will power.’ It also implies you are weak if you don’t have it, or gives you an excuse not to try something. It makes it sound like it’s something you can’t control. Either you have the ‘will power’ or you don’t.
I prefer to think that I can be focused and motivated to achieve my goals, whatever they may be, and that I am the one in control of them.
But that’s not to say there aren’t hurdles along the way. Everyone has bad days. If you have a crappy day when you are dieting it can make you want to eat crappy food. Some days you will remain focused and positive and resist the temptation. But other days you won’t. You will eat that chocolate, or drink that wine, hell you might even do both. Because none of us are super human. And we need to stop beating ourselves up for not being so.
We stumble and fall, and pick our selves up again. We triumph and we fail. There are always ups and downs. That’s life. But what stops us giving up is self belief.
Writing this series has helped me with many demons that do huge amounts of damage to me self-esteem and confidence every day. As has the support I have received from your lovely comments. I have a long long way to go before I am the size I want to be, and before I can feel confident and happy in myself. But the difference between now and 12 weeks ago when I started this series is that I now have the self belief that I can do it. I will get there. 12 weeks ago I didn’t believe that.
I realised how far I had come last week when the husband and I had a lunch date. We were chatting about the blog and my work and he said how brave I had been in writing this series and putting my thoughts out there. I realised in that moment that although those negative thoughts are always there, they have got quieter. They have been pushed to the back of my mind, rather than the front. And I can’t begin to tell you how much lighter that makes me feel. I actually got a bit emotional in the restaurant at the sheer relief that I am moving forward. I’m being kinder to myself.
Life can get on top of us. People knock us down. We put way to much emphasis on the words of complete strangers than we do of those we love. We think we are the only ones who struggle with how we feel about ourselves, when the truth is everyone does in one way or another.
Nobody can change the way you feel about yourself except for you. And you have the power to change it. You just need the self belief that you can do it.
With Christmas just around the corner I’ve been thinking a lot about the day when my boys question whether Father Christmas is real and what I say. You need to believe in something for it to be real. If you don’t believe in magic, then you won’t see magic. If you don’t believe in yourself then who else will?
This is the last in the loving me series. I will be continuing with my weight loss and taking my self belief with me, and one day hopefully I will lay all of my demons to rest. I don’t think i’ll ever be able to leave the house without asking my husband if I look ok, but we all need someone to big us up, right?
Thanks for your support with this series.
PS I totally believe in Father Christmas.
Loving Me is a weekly weight loss series following the LighterLife Fast plan.
What is LighterLife Fast?
LighterLife Fast is based on the 5:2 diet concept. You eat healthily for 5 days and then fast for 2 days on restricted calories. On the fast days you eat 4 of the LighterLife Fast food packs. These food packs give you 100% of your daily nutrition.
You can read other posts from the Loving Me series here:
This is a collaborative post.
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