I discovered I was pregnant with my first born the day of my 30th birthday party. It’s fair to say my thirties have been a pretty life changing decade. And as I approach my forties I have been thinking about the life lessons I will be taking with me.
Here is part two of the A-Z of the life lessons my 39 years life experience has taught me so far. You can read part one here.
N is for Nibbles
Nibbles are the most evil of the food groups. They sound small and harmelss. But nibbles are rarely healthy and always moreish, and there’s always loads of them. just the mere mention of nibbles and I know my waist line is in trouble.
O is for Obvious.
People like to state the obvious
I’m 4ft nothing. I’ve heard all the short jokes in the world. several times over. But what always surprises me is when I meet someone new and they tell me how short I am as if this is a revelation to me. So that’s why jeans are always to long and I have to ask strangers to reach things from the supermarket shelves. I never realised!
P is for Patrick Swayze
A shitty day can always be made better with a bit of Patrick Swayze. Dirty Dancing, Ghost, Point Break. Patrick is my go to man when I want to forget about the world for a little while.
Q is for quickly
Doing something quickly normally always ends up in having to do it again. Unless you are Mo Farrah.
R is for Running
It is physiologically impossible to run without holding your boobs when you have more than a handful. It is also impossible to run in heels. Unless you are in the movies.
S is for Singing
Sing loud and proud. There’s nothing quite like singing along to your favourite tunes for an instant pick me up.
T is for Tissues
Never leave the house without tissues. I have learnt this the hard way. The time I sneezed in the car and had to blow my nose on my directions (yes I’m that old that we didn’t always have sat nav) I subsequently gave myself a paper cut on my nose and got lost.
U is for Underwear
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt in 39 years it’s to embrace the Bridget Jones pants. Nobody needs the kind of pain that makes your eyes water when they sit down because their thong has ventured too far North.
V is for Vomiting
There is never a way to do so with dignity. But for me, the one that held my hair back when I was 17 after drinking a bit too much Mad Dog, ended up being The One. Vomitting can reveal your true love!
W is for Weather
Weather will let you down at any given opportunity. When you leave the house with your toes out, it will rain. When you are feeling to ill to do anything it will be glorious sunshine. The only thing you can rely on weather for, is to fill a void in a conversation.
W is also for willies. There are a lot of willies in my house, but I still don’t really understand them, other than they are crap at aiming and they need checking often. Apparently.
X is for Ex’s (kind of)
No good can ever come from facebook stalking your ex. Leave it alone.
Y is for Yellow
I do not look good in the colour yellow. You of course, may look perfectly lovely in yellow. But not me.
Z is for Zombies
Should there ever be a zombie apocalypse I have conducted thorough research through watching most zombie related movies so I know the best ways to survive. Basically, if you hear that their is an apocalypse, do not leave the house. Lock all the doors and windows and stay put until Will Smith or Brad Pitt get there.
39 Years Life Experience is a series about turning 40. To celebrate and try and come to terms with the next milestone I will be sharing a post each month about the things that I have learnt, and the things that matter to me, and maybe a few of my more embarrassing experiences, from my 39 years life experience. You can read more posts from the series here:
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