Let’s start with the caveat of that fact that I love my kids, and being a parent is a privilege, and blah blah blah. That should keep the parenting police happy.
But even if you have the best job in the world, there would still be something you don’t like about it. I could own a chocolate factory and have Gerard Butler as my assistant, but there would still be days where Gerard wasn’t on his game, and I would be pissed off.
Parenting is full of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. For me, the single worst thing about being a parent, the hardest part, the part that I hate, the part that brings me to tears, causes me stress and anxiety, the part that I cannot wait to be over, and I will rejoice when it is: Is quite simply the school run.
Nine years I’ve been doing them.
Back and forth. Sometimes back and forth more than twice a day. In wind, rain, snow and sweaty heatwaves. All of which cause endless moaning. A 10 minute walk there and a 5 minute walk back (things always take longer with kids). I’ve got another year to go before I can wave Little off at the door and he can walk himself to school.
I see some people literally skipping to school with their kids. Skipping! I’ve heard of people who have wonderful chats with their off-spring about life, love, and the universe on happy jaunts to and from school. Without a single utterance of “can’t remember” or “dunno”.
I’ve seen the post that does the rounds in July, the one that urges parents of kids in year 6 to hold their hands one more time on the way to school, and savour the last school run. I won’t be. Not me. Nope! I savour many parts of their childhood. I miss days of sloppy kisses and tiny toes. But school runs I will not miss one single bit.
School runs can do one.
I’ve done school runs with a baby in tow, A baby who refused point blank to keep his socks on, and earned me lots of disproving looks from old ladies. I’ve done school runs with a screaming, planking toddler in tow. I’ve done school runs with a toddler eating an ice lolly at 8 in the morning, because I had to resort to bribery to get him to leave the house (lots more disproving looks from old ladies earned). I’ve done school runs where one kid runs on ahead, and the other refuses to walk at all.
There have been times when I have dragged my kids to school. There have been times when my kid walked slower than a snail, and I felt like I would explode. There have been times we have all cried.
There are so many hazards on the school runs which add to the stress. Puddles to fall over in, dog poo to tread in, kids with zero spacial awareness hurtling by on scooters. All hazards my kids have succumbed to more than once.
Then there’s the moaning.
The endless whinging and whining about not wanting to go to school, carrying bags, being hungry, not being able to fly. Whinging because going to a lovely school, and hanging out with their friends all day is the biggest hardship they have ever known, and “whoever invented school is just stupid.”
Of course all this happens after you’ve gone through the stress of getting them out of the door in the first place. It doesn’t matter that my kids are always up at the arse end of dawn, and have hours to get ready for school. I ask them to get dressed and 30 minutes later find them butt naked bar one sock playing with Lego. They are still running around at the last minute moaning about wearing school shoes and protesting against coats.
I am someone who hates being late. Being late stresses me out and makes me anxious. It’s just who I am. But of course, I can’t show this. No. I have to be calm and put on my Mary Poppins sing song voice as I hurry them or ‘actively encourage’ them along. Because if I get angry, they get slower. If I issue threats, I would have to follow through, and my kids would never have any screen time!
I’m an organised person, so mornings are not chaotic. Things are prepared and ready. It’s just that my kids would rather do a million and one other things ahead of going to school. We’ve done reward charts, we’ve changed up routines, we’ve made it into a game, we’ve threatened them, we’ve tried everything. But both my kids hate going to school. Once they are there, they are fine and they love it. But dragging themselves out of the house is not high on their priority list every morning.
I get it. I’ve had jobs where I’ve woken up feeling sick with the thought of having to go to work. But I had genuine reasons such as my boss is a sociopath. (If you are one of my old bosses reading this, I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about the other one). My kids love school once they are there. Mostly. They have nice teachers, they have good friends. They would just rather stay home and play Xbox or football. Suck it up kids. You need to go learn stuff. Despite the fact that you think, and quite frequently tell me, you already know everything. I beg to disagree.
The worst mornings leave me feeling awful.
They storm off after cross words. There is no goodbye. And I am left with this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach all day. Worrying about them, wondering what I should have done differently. Berating myself for the the fact that my child has been a complete arse. And then at the end of the day they come out of school thrilled to see me with no recollection of the mornings disaster at all. Making me wonder if I had imagined it, or somehow made a mountain out of a molehill. My own kids are gas-lighting me!
Maybe I am doing it wrong. Maybe there is a better way. But nine years in and many different methods tried I have just accepted that I hate the school runs. They are not my parenting forte. I love playing games with them, reading to them, chatting with them. But I do not love walking them to school.
In fact on a Friday when my husband does the school run, it all goes swimmingly. They literally skip to school. So yes. It’s me.
Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.
What makes it harder now is that I have seen that chink of light at the end of the tunnel. I know what’s on the other side. My 14 year old gets up by himself, gets himself sorted and leaves for school on time, every day by himself. He is the grumpiest person in the land in the mornings and just grunts at you, but he does it all, with no input from me. So I know my mornings will one day be happy again. My nine year old will no longer need me to gee him along, hold his hand, and tell him when it’s safe to cross the road. And there is nothing bitter sweet about it for me. No bitterness at all, just the sweet. The sweet sweet relief that I no longer need to do the school run.
I know there are people reading this who will not understand. Who relish taking their little ones to school. And good for you. But for those who hate the school runs, I hear you. I am with you. Especially those that have a toddler in tow. Toddlers on the school run are next level shit.
I’m not here for advice.
I’ve done all that. I’m just here for the rant and the solidarity from my fellow school run haters.
So come on, confess all, what for you, is the single worst thing about parenting?
You can see how much I hate the school runs by how many posts I’ve written about it over the years!
Leave a Reply