I don’t pretend to know what it’s like to be trans. In the same way I don’t know what it’s like to be a man. I can only talk from my viewpoint as a woman and my lived experience in that body. But just because I haven’t lived the experiences of trans people does not make those experiences false or any less important than my experiences. I try to live my life with the philosophy of, I really don’t like peas, but I have no problem with other people liking peas. You do you, and let me be me.
But what I can’t stand is people who spread hatred. And they mostly spread it through ignorance, or not being prepared to listen to other peoples voices. Both of which I personally find to be inexcusable.
Legislation
In 2025 the UK supreme court Clarified that “sex” in the Equality Act means biological sex. This change in the interpretation has resulted in the government issuing new guidelines. Most of which are still under consultation. The results of those consultations are due in July.
It’s been over a year since the ruling, and I can honestly say that every day since I have thought about it. I have tried to understand it. I have tried to put myself in other people’s shoes and listen to other peoples voices and understand why we need this legislation. I am no closer to understanding the why, and my outrage continues to grow.
If you are a like minded person then I know you will read this article and agree with every point I make. And whilst people have a right to disagree with me, I am yet to hear an argument that makes sense. An argument that is supported by facts and figures. An argument that isn’t fuelled by unfounded hatred. If you are reading this and you agree with the new legislation, I want to ask you a favour. Please read on. You’ve come this far, so you might as well. But please read on without prejudice. Because I really believe if you remove that prejudice you will find it hard not to agree with me.
Jail or Assault
I recently heard Nikson Matthews, a trans man from Idaho, speak at a hearing for House Bill 752 in Idaho. A ‘bathroom bill’ similar to what we are considering in the UK. Please bear in mind that this trans man in talking from his lived experience.
This is Nikson Matthews..
What choice should he make? Should he use the male restroom, and risk going to jail for breaking the law as his assigned gender at birth was female? And lets not forget that as a trans person he is already at a significantly higher risk of being a victim of a hate crime no matter what bathroom he uses. So does he risk going to jail for having a pee? Or does he abide by these laws and use the female bathroom? Does he risk assault for being a man in a female bathroom? As Nikson points out, the person that physically assaults him, would serve less jail time, than Nikson would if he were arrested for using the men’s bathroom. How does that make any sense?
The Guise of Safety
In all the arguments people have in defence of the legislation, I hear them talk about safety. About how it makes us all safer. And this one I really really can’t get my head around. Because who is safer?
The trans man that has to use the women’s bathroom? Putting himself at risk of assault. Perhaps making the women in that bathroom feel uncomfortable that a man is in their space?
The trans woman that has to use the men’s bathroom? I mean come on ladies. On any given day there’s a queue for the ladies and the majority of us would rather cross our legs than go in the men’s bathroom. We cannot guarantee it’s safe for us to do so. So how is it safe for a trans woman to do so?
What about women who look more masculine? What about the 1 in 10 women that suffer from PCOS which can cause facial hair? Could they be asked to prove their gender before using the bathroom? How do you prove that? How do you police that? How do you police the people we are having to prove our gender to? Has anyone honestly thought this through?
And what about women? Does it really make it safer for us? Because haven’t we just given the green light for predatory men to enter a woman’s bathroom under the guise of a trans man? Haven’t we really just made it unsafe for women to use women’s bathrooms?
As a cis woman I would much rather share my space with a trans woman, than see her have to use the men’s bathroom and put herself significantly at risk. A trans woman using the women’s toilet poses no risk to me. But a trans woman using the men’s bathroom poses a great risk to her, as does a trans man having to use the women’s bathroom.
In what way do these laws make anyone safer?
Statistics
Lets start with the fact that a Stonewall survey in 2018 revealed that half of trans people avoided using public bathrooms. I can only imagine that number is much higher now.
Anti trans crimes are rising in the UK, and that’s just the ones that are actually reported. A National LGBT survey found that 2 in 5 respondents had experienced verbal harassment or physical violence, and 9 in every 10 of those experiences were not reported.
Add in what we commonly know, 1 in 4 women have been the victim of a sexual crime, and again, that’s just the ones that are reported. It starts to paint a picture.
But every picture needs perspective. So let’s look at a group of 200 men. In that group on average 4 of them are likely to have committed sexual assault or a violent crime. It’s a very low majority. Trans people make up 0.53% of the UK population. That’s 1 in 200 people. And the vast majority of those people are law abiding citizens who pose no threat to you whatsoever.
So again I have to ask, what threat are trans people posing? What risk do I face if a trans woman uses the woman’s bathroom? I just don’t see it.
In fact let’s look at the risk visually to make it even clearer.
In this group of 400 people represented ironically by blue for men and pink for women, you can see the red circles represent people who have committed a violet crime. The rainbows represent trans men and trans women. You will notice that there are no red danger circles on the trans men or women as the number is far too low to register on this scale. Please note that you are twice as likely to meet a dangerous male than you are to meet a trans person. And that trans person is not dangerous.
Again I ask the question, why are we so afraid of trans people, and in what way are we unsafe around them?
Women’s Rights
Equality is for everyone. I bang on every day about women’s rights and how much further we still have to go. I am genuinely scared in the current climate that women will lose rights like they have already in America. But this is happening now to trans people everywhere. We have to be allies, we have to help them raise their voices to be heard. because we can’t say that ‘girls can be CEO’s too’ and then say, ‘oh, but not you’.
Did you know that 70% of Reform voters think that trans rights have “gone too far”? What does that even mean? How can equal rights go too far? The clue is in the title, is it not? ‘Equal’. But what’s more astounding is to say that at a time when trans people are losing their rights.
How big a leap is it to say you can’t do this because you are trans, to you can’t do this because you’re a woman? Scarily I don’t think it’s a very big leap. More of a hop.
Why
My biggest question is why are trans rights so violently under threat. Because honestly what threat does a trans person hold to you? What is at risk for you? Because I would argue that the trans community is at significantly more risk from other people, than you are from the trans community.
And what have these people done so wrong? Why is the hatred and vitriol towards the trans community on the rise? They are different to you and me. Doesn’t accepting differences and celebrating them make us better human beings? A better society to live in? Because it’s ok if I don’t like peas and you do. We are all different.
The Future
There are no facts to support this legislation. At best it comes from a lack of understanding, at worst, ignorance. This legislation doesn’t just affect bathrooms. Already the WI and Girl Guides association are saying they will not be able to allow trans women to be members.
As a parent, I have tried so hard to teach my kids to accept people, no matter their gender, sexuality or anything else. That the world is a better place because of our differences. But increasingly I feel like the world is going backwards, and out kids are being taught that being different to the majority means something to fear, something to marginalise, something to discriminate, and something to hate.
So ask yourself. Are you really afraid for your safety? Are are you afraid because someone is different to you and you don’t understand that.
Maybe you don’t even need to understand their differences. But you do need to accept them.
Conclusion
Is the safety of women in public bathrooms being compromised by trans rights? No.
Trans rights are being compromised under the thinly veiled guise of ‘safety’, when it is in fact, the safety of trans people that is being compromised.
If you are going to resort to calling me ‘woke’ as your argument, then I will not argue with you. Because I am woke and proud of it. It’s not an insult to me. As Kathy Burke says,
“Be woke kids, be woke. Be wide awake and fucking call it out.”
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