You can’t have escaped the rumour circulating your news feed that the BBC are axing Cbeebies from our lives.  There has of course been a public outcry from enraged parents and threats of turning up to the BBC on mass to protest with toddlers in tow.  

Whilst I doubt the BBC has seriously considered the impact that a world without Cbeebies will have on the lives of parents, I think there a far bigger consequences.  They need to consider the impact that a world without Cbeebies will have on the NHS, the global economy, foreign affairs, and the police force.

The consequences of axing Cbeebies are far greater than frazzled parents, without Cbeebies Great Britain would crumble.

 

The Consequesces axing cbeebeies will have on great britain

 

The NHS

Can you imagine already over stretched GP surgeries being inundated with mums needing appointments for kidney infections.  I mean seriously how are we going to go wee wee’s without Cbeebeis?

And what about the dramatic increase in cases of salmonella and e coli poisoning. Children all over the country will be living in filth and squalor.  Their poor parents will have no free time to clean their houses due to having to entertain their children every minute of every day.

 

The Global Economy

No more homes filled with stuffed Mr Tumbles, plastic Ninky Nonks and talking Bing Bunny’s.  Toy sales will see the biggest fall since Geoffrey the giraffe opened his doors (and subsequently closed them) to the ultimate children’s heaven. Stores will close.  People will lose their jobs.  Homes will be sold.  There will be an economic crisis.  It will not reflect well on the government.  David Cameron needs Cbeebies more than Cbeebies needs him.

 

Foreign Affairs

A rainy day without Cbeebies is like Topsy without Tim, Charlie without Lola, Dr Ranj without his eyebrows, or Mr maker without the slightly manic / demonic expression on his face.  Without Cbeebies to keep parents sane on a rainy day, hordes of families will be uprooting and emigrating to sunnier fields.

 

The Police Force

The effects won’t be felt immediately, but give it a few years and there will be a dramatic rise in the number of juvenile delinquents and ASBO orders.  These poor juveniles will have no boundaries or behavior guidance, as they were never issued with the threat of “no more cbeebies“.  They were never rewarded or bribed with one more episode of Raa Raa.  How is a child supposed to learn how to behave without cbeebies?  The future of this country looks very bleak indeed.

 

 

All joking aside, on a personal note I would like to beg ask the BBC not to axe cbeebies because I would be forced to do more crafts with my children.  Whilst I fully appreciate that crafts are an educational and creative activity for children to partake in, I am really really crap at crafts.  And thanks to Pinterest I can have my nose rubbed in my utter failure every single day.

 

If anyone from the BBC happens to read this and are listening to their viewers needs, hi there.  Can I also take this opportunity to say that Granny Murray could do with a CRB check.  I’m not too happy about some of the goings on in Granny Murry’s house.  It would also be incredibly beneficial for all the parents out there and their self-esteem, to see Topsy and Tim’s mum looking slightly less than perfect and having a bad day.  Oh and feel free to give Dr Ranj my number, I need some err…. advice. Thanks.

 

Update: This was just a very scary rumour.  Cbeebies will be continuing to save your sanity for the foreseeable future.  Except for Topsy and Tim.  they are no good for anyone’s sanity.
 
 


BritMums

 


Claire Kirby

21 Comments on The Consequences Axing Cbeebies Will Have on Great Britain

  1. Ah I never thought I’d say it but I miss cbeebies. My two are too old for it now. Although occasionally spud will watch a bit of waybuloo and get confused by the flying alien things.

  2. Very funny and echo the above in saying you must ask Postman Pat to deliver this immediately. Whilst, I no longer require the medication of CBeebies, I certainly feel the pain you guys are all feeling. Surely this must be a rumour, I grew up as a parent with Justin asking me how I was – wouldn’t have managed to shower for 3 years if it wasn’t for him.

  3. I know I live on a rock but apparently I also live under one as I knew nout about this impending tragedy. It’s starting to look like I want to leave my husband for you but oh my word, you are one of the cleverest bloggers out there. When I grow up I want to be just like you. Dr Ranj without his eyebrows (by the way I didn’t know about him til I read one of your other posts so you see, you are also a valuable information source), the kidney infection bit, the doing crafts, the WHOLE thing. Flipping hell, you always make me laugh but this is one of your best yet! Thanks for linking to #effitfriday

  4. It will be a very bleak day for us all should this come for fruition! We all need to sprinkle a little bit of fairy dust to make sure it does not!!! #effitfriday

  5. Very funny and creative! I’m sure the BBC would say “buy a tablet and solve the world’s problems – Cbeebies will still exist online” – then we can explain to them why it is clearly a bad idea to give a two year old a tablet (see my post “no point crying over spilt Pantene”) 🙂 Xx #thelist

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