The baby has a cold.  It’s a bad one.  Sleepless nights and green sheets.  I think it’s an inherent fault that we aren’t born with the ability to blow our noses.  In fact babies aren’t even remotely disgusted by the green slugs hanging from their nostrils.  They either eat it or smear it.  It’s us mugs parents that have to try and contain the snot.  And what parent out there hasn’t resorted to using their own sleeve on their darling snotty monsters when needs must and no tissues are to hand.

Note – This blog is all about the snot – no tissues.

The Snot Dodge.  

Babies don’t like their noses being wiped.  Unless you can wipe with ninja speed they are going to dodge that tissue just as you go in for the swipe.  The result: snot smeared all over their little chubby cheeks.

The Hair Smear.  

So you just checked and all was clear in the snot department, you turned your back for a second and not only has the snot re-appeared but they have managed to smear it into their hair.  There might be some porridge in there from this morning as well.  Good luck getting that bad boy out.

The Hang Loose.  

You know when you’re walking down the road with the babe in the pushchair and people smile and stop and coo, only now they are hurrying past and avoiding eye contact.  When you stop and check the little one they have two very large green slugs oozing from each nostril.  If you haven’t got there quick enough they have done the hair smear, and when you try to do the clean up they do the snot dodge. The end result is not going to win any beautiful baby competitions.  It ain’t pretty.

The Mummy Swipe.  

If they’re covered in snot you can be pretty sure you are going to be covered snot.  Your top, your hair, your face.  Nothing is out-of-bounds for a mummy swipe.  It’s normally after the school run or answering the door to the postman that you notice the big streak down your jeans and crusty bit in your hair.

The Cold and Crusty Mornings. 

Don’t you just love that first glimpse of them in the morning, all fresh from a nights sleep.  You’ve missed their gorgeous little face.  Not when they have a cold.  Hello green baby.  That stuff is everywhere, hair, eyebrows, face, hands, sheets.  And it’s crusty and hard and stuck to everything.  It’s worse than dried Weetabix.  It will not come off.  By now your baby is well-practiced at the snot dodge and applies this manoeuvre to all flannel advances.  You fear you baby might have a permanent green tinge to their face.

Get will soon my little O

My little snot monster


If you like my post please share the love like a baby shares their snot 😉

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Claire Kirby

9 Comments on Snotty Nosed Kids

  1. Bleurgh. Just come out the other side of two months of snot that left both me and Mrs B with hacking coughs so you have my sympathy! Baby noses are not designed to deal with mucus and I felt so sorry for our little one not being able to blow his. Get well soon i hope 🙂

  2. This made me laugh and wince in equal measure, mostly because I woke up with a little green monster next to me this morning! Luckily he is okay with having his nose wiped, but at the moment I simply CANNOT wipe fast enough. Where does it all keep coming from, I always wonder!

  3. Oh I can definitely relate to this. My 2 year old has spent the majority of her years full of snot (so much so we are in the NHS referral system) and I now just accept I will go to work sporting snail trails!

    Hope your little boy feels better soon.

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