The general election looms ever closer and the parties have all had their say.  Although the majority of their say always seems to involve telling us who not to vote for, rather than why we should vote for them.

I’m looking to vote for the party whose policies would most benefit me.  Which got me thinking, what if my small dictators people could make the rules?  What would their policies be?  And more importantly would you vote for them?

I asked my 5-year-old son what he would do if he was the boss of the world.  After much discussion about the castle he would live in, these are election promises.*

*Paraphrased somewhat!


The Economy

  • We need to make equal living standards for all.  We pledge a minimum pay for pocket-money for all children from the age of three upwards.
  • The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas will all receive pay rises above the rate of inflation.
  • Everyone should get free money and weekends should be longer. (He gets my vote on this one).

Health & The NHS

  • Green Jelly Babies are counted towards one of the five a day healthy eating requirements, because they are the same colour as peas but taste much nicer.
  • Ice lollies will become an integral part of the sun safety campaign.  Every time sun cream is applied Ice lollies should also be consumed.
  • Doctors Surgery’s will have an obligation to keep children entertained for long wait times by showing Cbeebies in the waiting room.
  • All children will have the same bedtime, and parents trying to put their children to bed when it is still light will have to go to jail. (His actual words).


  • A Minimum of three bedtime stories will become the national requirement.
  • Magazines will become educational material on the national curriculum, including the free tat toy that comes with them.
  • No more magic maths at school. (Again, his words).


  • Mr Tumble, Mr Bloom and Mr Maker should make personal appearances at all birthday parties.
  • There is never an inappropriate time to dress as Batman.
  • Everyone has two birthdays a year.

Kid Party


What rules would your small people add?

Friday Frolics



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Claire Kirby

49 Comments on If 5 Year-Olds Ran The Country…

  1. ha!! I think my 5 year old would agree with most of these. He would also expect Haribo for breakfast, only without the milk and full control of the remote at all times so we all have to suffer fecking NumTums on repeat. Oh, and no washing hair EVER! I think he would be happy to have dreds with creatures nesting in it.
    Mr Tumble is a possibility- my husband often works with him and so I could hook you up. At least that would be one thing off the list!
    Lush post as ever!!

      • Oh yeah. Good point.
        But now that you mention it, Mr Tumble is a good lookin fella. We could do a lot worse. And he would be a cracking fella to have around the house. He could entertain the kids whilst we drink vodka tonics in bed with the door bolted.
        He loves doing it. And kids live him. And he makes for a fabulous distraction!
        Everyone would be so happy!!!x

  2. I love this huni, so funny. An inspired idea. I agree about lollys and sunscreen, and free money and long weekends. Actually I WILL vote for him. Thanks so much for linking up to #TheList x

  3. This is so funny! I am so in with the more free money and longer weekends! Yes please! I’d definitely vote your little one to run the country! Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  4. HA! I love some of these policies!

    Ice lollies will become an integral part of the sun safety campaign — yep — I’m up for this one! PLUS I’d like two birthdays a year (having a January birthday is a bit rubbish, I’d like a summer one too) and finally, ‘everyone should get free money and weekends should be longer’. That’s genius. The boy has a bright future ahead of him!! 😉 Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday x

    Caro |

  5. Hahha This made me laugh and I bet so true too. lol Great post. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

  6. I love it. My 6 year old agrees with the same bedtime for all children, and going to jail if put to bed whilst still light.

    He also adds that The youngest is allowed control of the sky remote, even if they are not watching TV, but still in the room.

  7. Mine would have cartoons on all day everyday. No other types of programs allowed. Even if they are outside and someone changes the channel they get so upset. Yes I am one of those moms who has a tv on all day for noise. Like it’s not noisy enough around here with 3 toddlers.

  8. Haha, amazing post! I completely agree with alot of his points especially the one about weekends, and I’d love it if green jelly babies could be one of our 5 a day. Awesome pic too! #FridayFrolics

  9. Well this is the best manifesto I’ve heard so far! I think Baby B would add free brushes for everyone – two to be carried at all times.

  10. hehe Claire this is brilliant! It’s made me wonder what my son would say if I asked him! Such a great post and a fabulous piccie! xx #fridayfrolics

  11. Hmm these are interesting policies, but I’m sorry to say that this party would not be receiving my vote. Unfortunately if Mr Tumble or Mr Maker appeared anywhere NEAR me I would find it very difficult not to throttle them. Mr Bloom however, I have a strange crush on so he can come 😉

  12. Ieuan would add that jam sandwiches are an acceptable meal substitute and that it is OK to go to school dressed as spiderman. Caitlin would like to go everywhere accompanied by puppies and kittens.

    I’d like a lockable wine cellar.


  13. He’s got my vote. Much more sensible than most of the jokers threatening to run the country at the moment! My tot would like to add that he should be able to lick whatever he want, wherever he wants. Including but not limited to : dogs feet, people’s faces, supermarket trolleys, public highchairs and railings of all kinds.


  14. Ha ha LOVE this – I am definitely with your boy on the CBeebies in waiting rooms, ice lollies (craving one just thinking about it!) and the green Jelly Babies – they are my favourite too! Fab post x

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