The big one has just celebrated his sixth birthday and in honour of that here are some lessons in how to make friends and influence people from the world of a 6 year old boy.
How to Make Friends
1 Lower your expectations
Not of the people you are friends with, but of your definition of the term ‘friend’. For example I once high-fived a big boy on the way home from school. I’d never seen him before, but he is now my friend. Likewise I met a boy at the park last weekend and we played together for about 10 minutes. He is now my new best friend. I can’t remember his name though.
2 Have an Argument
You know the kind…
“My Dad is the best”
“No My Dad is the best”
“NOOOO! My Dad is the best”
“Uh-uh My Dad is the best”
“No he’s not. My Dad is the best”
Some of my longest friendships are cemented in the foundations of these arguments. It’s the childhood equivalent of ‘putting the world to rights’.
3 Sword Fights
These are an awesome way to make friends. And you don’t even need real swords (my mummy won’t let me have one), just use your arm. Secretly I think My daddy wishes he could make friends this way too.
NB – If you are trying to make friends with a girl just pull her hair. Alternatively sing songs really loudly in her face like “boys are the best, girls are rubbish”.
How to Influence People
Influencing is a big word for getting what you want. Whether it’s a toy, chocolate or watching your favorite TV program, there are 4 ways to ensure your grown up says “yes.”
Grown ups really dig that stuff. If you ask for something really nicely and in your best voice and say please at least 5 times in the sentence they will probably say yes. Don’t make the mistake of saying a long drawn out “pllleeeeeeaaasssseeeeee,” this is classed as whining and not considered good manners. I have yet to get my grown up to say yes to anything by whining. Although I keep trying.
2 Talk about what you want. A lot.
Imagine what you want right now is the Lego Ninjago Electromech available from Toys R Us for £12.99. You need to to mention this toy approximately once every two minutes. Wake up talking about it. Ask questions about it over breakfast. Interrupt Mummy having a shower to tell her something very important about it. Make sure you always call it by it’s full name and drop in the shop and price as many times as possible. Don’t let reasons like, “it’s your birthday soon” deter you. Some have referred to this technique as pester power, although I like to think of it as ‘enthusiastic talking.’ If you get it right your grown up will crack and the toy will be in your hands faster than you can say “pocket money.” There is a risk that you can push your grown ups over the edge with this method. This can result in no toy and not being able to watch Ninjago for a week. You have been warned.
3 Be creative
We are at a unique stage in our lives. Parents are really easily impressed with this learning to read and write malarkey. They will be only too willing to reward you for your efforts. Now is the time to put pen to paper and pull out those jolly phonics you’ve been singing about for the last year. I recommend a picture of what you want and writing what it is underneath. For added affect add an “I love you” with lots of xxxxxxxx. By the way it doesn’t matter if you spell love L U V, your grown up will still be super proud and think that you are amazing.
4 Puppy Dog Eyes
I worked out how to use these when I was about 6 months old, and when you need to pull out the big guns, it still works. Don’t waste them on the immune. Always go for your soft grown up, you know good cop. Grandparents are complete suckers for the puppy dog eyes. Throw in some kisses and cuddles and an “you’re the best Nana ever,” and the world my friend is your Lego toy. (I don’t like oysters)
Please note this post is not sponsored by any toy shop or Lego, just by my six year old son!
Happy Birthday to the coolest chatterbox I know who makes friends where ever he goes and still gets me with those puppy dog eyes.
This post was featured as Netmums Blog of The Day.
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