My eldest son is 12. Puberty has arrived and with it the hormonal mood swings, angst and spots. Sometimes I get a glimpse through the floppy fringe into the awesome adolescent he is becoming. He’s funny, engaging and caring. However some times I am also taken back to a more familiar time, although some years ago, I see the toddler that he once was. Learning to stand his ground and trying to get what he wants through less desirable means. Only this time round after any toddler-esq behaviour I am left with a slightly huffy gangly youth muttering “sorry mum” in not quite the same convincing manner as the big sloppy kisses and fierce bear hugs he would give me when he was a toddler. But as unfamiliar as this teen territory is to me, there are definitely a lot of similarities between teens and toddlers…
Outbursts
Teens and toddlers are highly susceptible to outbursts. Tantrums if you will. A lot of shouting, sometimes tears. Always irrational and unreasonable. The cause of a toddler outburst is likely to be “Why can’t you make it stop raining” or “mend my broken banana” The cause of a teen outburst normally follows being told “no” and their outbursts contains a lot of “It’s no fair” and “you don’t care about me”. The main difference is toddlers are likely to lie on the floor and protest loudly, whereas teens are more likely to storm off and slam their door and sulk for a while.
Dress Sense
Toddlers are normally seen rocking the welly boot come rain or shine. Often they accessorise with a tutu or superhero cape. Teens (particularly teen boys) are often seen sporting camouflage clothing. Often different pattern and colour trousers and top, so rather than blending in it actually hurts your eyes to look at them. Think Joey; “It looks like a Porsche threw up on you”, only swap Porsche for army sergeant. The other inescapable similarity between toddlers and teens when it comes to clothing is their passionate hatred for wearing a coat. What the coat ever did to them I don’t know, but you are not getting one any where near the vicinity of their torso.
Mess
Teens and toddlers alike often leave a trail of devastation in their wake. Much like a tornado they seem to create debris wherever they go. The mess left behind after a toddler invasion is normally toy related and sticky. The mess left behind after a teen is normally stinky clothes and empty food wrappers. When it comes to the teenage boy beware of any crispy debris. If you know, you know.
Hygiene
Quite simply neither teens or toddlers are keen on good hygiene and will dodge a wash at any opportunity. At least with toddlers once they are in the bath they change their mind and you can give them a good scrub. With teens you are not allowed anywhere near the vicinity of the bathroom when they are in there. Although I can hear the shower running I am not entirely convinced that he is actually in it. He’s more likely fully dressed watching youtube on his phone and thinking he’s pulled a fast one one me. They don’t call Lynx the shower in a can for nothing!
Drama
Toddlers and teens have an amazing ability to create drama. Mainly through exaggeration. Their emotional state is constantly volatile. They can swing from happy to catastrophic meltdown in 0.3 seconds, and you never know which way it’s going to go. Parents of toddlers and teens live in a state of high alert ready for fight or flight.
Clumsy
Spilt drinks, broken ornaments, scrapes and grazes, it’s all part of the territory when you have a toddler or a teen.
Obsessions
No obsession is too big for a teen or a toddler. Whether it’s Paw Patrol or Fortnite, both species can talk endlessly on their chosen obsession. The bonus of a teen is that they won’t expect you to watch / play / name every paw patrol character with them.
Stubborn
Trying to change the mind of a teen or toddler is an incredibly difficult job. They are stubborn as. A toddler is marginally more likely to listen more. For a teenager to believe something you have said it must come from another teenager. Parents are simply out of touch and have no clue what they are taking about.
Demanding
No sooner have you met one demand, there is another. Snacks, screen time, can I do this on my own…
At least with toddlers they still think you are the coolest person in the world. Where as teens think anything you do is highly embarrassing and they suddenly treat you as if you are ready for a stairlift from Age co homelifts. Seriously, he asked me if I remembered the war the other day. I’m 43!!!
What do you think? Are teens and toddlers the same species?
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