A Guest Post by Apply To Face Blog
The series all about the parenting fails and rookie mistakes that prove there really is no manual for this job.
This weeks Rookie Mistake is from Jenny who blogs at Apply To Face Blog. I always feel like Jenny’s blog offers a but one get one free. You get a brilliantly funny blog post and you get a recipe too. I should warn you though, Jenny’s blogs always leave you hungry. Hungry for more of her writing and hungry for her delicious recipe.
Jenny’s Rookie Mistake is about the things that slip out when we don’t mean them to and the guilt that follows.
If you have a Rookie Mistake and would like to be part of the series you can find out more here.
Chicken Curry Pie
I lost the plot this morning trying to exit the house on the school run. I shouted/screamed and to my eternal shame called my teenage son/7 year old a “Little Sod”…….I have never before called him a swear word and it is right up there as one of my biggest parenting fails ever. Send me to parent jail immediately. Do not pass Sorry I said Snot really and definitely do not pass throwing yourself pathetically at your child and begging for forgiveness whilst holding onto his feet.
Oh the parenting shame, the guilt. How can I make it right? How can I make him completely forget it has ever happened ? What if it scars him forever? What if he thinks I don’t love him all day at school? What if he calls someone else it? F.ck what if he tells his teachers?
I knew I was up against it at 8 a.m. I wasn’t where I should have been in the schedule. At 8 a.m I am normally just sweating the small stuff, but this morning at 8 a.m I was nowhere near. I felt the first knot of anxiety grab hold of my plexus and give it a big builder’s hand squeeze. Of course it was f.cking school photo day and obviously both school jumpers had yoghurt or gravy or some other crud blobbed Picasso stylee over the fronts and my daughter desperately wanted an up-do……… SH…..TTTT! It’s ok, it’s ok I can do this I thought…
I’m fabulous at multi tasking let’s bring this bad boy home (seemingly I was on the bridge of the Star Ship Enterprise). Sometimes when I adopt this positive, cheesy attitude it works but this morning it just did NOT. No matter how I tried to move like a ninja it just kept going pear shaped and as it did so my anxiety rose with it like a little dog fervently dry humping my leg. I could almost see the damn thing thumping madly away………………….and so of course, it inevitably came to pass that on my final run up to getting them out the front door (I was so, so, close), my son argued back one last motherclucking time and I snapped. Terribly and ashamedly I went for it…………guilty as charged.
What’s the moral of my confession? I could say I should be more organised, I could say no T.V until you’re ready for school, I could say I need to take more me time. All of these things I do try to stick to and most of the time I manage it and I am totally a smug b.tch as I calmly saunter back to the car, passing parents frantically trying to find parking spaces as the kids stare wild eyed and panicked, trying to claw their doors open before the cars have actually come to a stop. But this time it just all went t.ts…….I lost the Mummy plot and I did the shameful deed……
All I can say in the final summing up for the defence is that I am hugely remorseful for my sins and I sincerely and determinedly pledge to keep my mouth tightly shut whenever I feel like my head is about to explode and I’m being dry humped from school run stress ……..”Imagine if you had a real job” my husband counselled………K.ob.
For my community service I shall serve a 100 hours of baking whatever the little TYKE likes. I shall do my time with a heavy heart but full stomach. Winner Winner Chicken Dinner….literally
This is a 1970’s Chicken Curry Pie.There is not a tomato or vegetable in sight (well just a little onion but don’t tell him).It’s a pie that is perfect for adults served with new potatoes and petit pois but my son will prefer chips and beans and I obviously won’t deny him. I absolutely adore the retro curry powder flavour and find it’s super delicious in this pie. I roast a whole chicken which is more than is needed but I just add a little mayonnaise to what’s left and hey presto I have a bowl of home-made Coronation Chicken in my fridge.
Who’s a clever, if a little blasphemous, mummy?
- 1 medium roast chicken
- 1 large onion
- 500 mls chicken stock
- 2 heaped tsps mild curry powder
- 2 cloves garlic
- 25 grams cornflour
- 3 tbsps mango chutney
- 275 grams plainflour
- 1 pinch fine salt
- 135 grams unsalted butter cubed
- 1 tsp lemon juice
- 1 large egg beaten
- 1 egg beaten for egg wash.
- Roast a Chicken and when cool pull all the meat from the bird and set aside.
- Chop the onion and garlic up finely or whizz in the processor-my preferred lazy-bird option.
- Fry in a medium saucepan for five mins in some olive oil until softened. Add the curry powder and fry gently for a further couple of mins.
- Pour in the stock and bring to a boil. Stir the cornflour in a cup with about double the water(enough that all the cornflour dissolves completely). Add to the simmering curry liquid whilst stirring with a whisk(curry).Keep stirring with the whisk until it thickens.
- Continue simmering and season to taste.
Add the chicken and set aside to cool.
- To make the pastry put the butter, flour and salt in the bowl of a food processor or mixing bowl. Either whizz or rub in by hand until breadcrumbs are formed. Add the egg and a splash of water and whizz or use a knife to mix until it just comes together. Give it a couple of kneads into a disc and cover in clingfilm and refrigerate for 30 mins. Pre-heat the oven to 190 C
- When ready to get this show on the road then dust your work surface with flour and cut 1/3 of the pastry dough away. Roll out the remaining 2/3 to line a pie dish about 20 cm and 5 cm deep or round about ish. Trim off excess pastry.
- Fill it with the cooled chicken mixture. Brush the edges with egg wash and roll out the remaining dough to fit the top. Crimp the edges and trim again if needed.
- Make two steam holes in the middle of the pie and brush all over with egg wash. Bake for about 50 minutes. Watch the top does not start to burn. I make tin foil hats and cover the pies as soon as they start to darken.
- Apply to remorseful and shamed face.
You can get a printable version of Jenny’s recipe here.
My name is Jenny Walters and I am a very perimenopausal stay at home Mum with a passion for my children, cooking, friends, laughing a lot and really good food and wine. I have two young children and love to have friends and families round to stuff their faces with easy to prepare, crazily lush food that gladdens the soul and fills the bellies. So whether it’s for entertaining or just filling your face alone in a wardrobe at home, stick with me and it’s Enid Blyton picnics all the way, or that’s the idea. If it all goes t.ts, there’s always more wine, lashings of ginger beer and the odd vol au vent.
You can read previous guest posts from the Rookie Mistakes series here.
If you are a blogger and wish to take part in the series you can find out more here.