We all know the equation for a poorly baby, right?

Poorly baby = Baby not wanting to be out down

Baby not wanting to be put down = Mummy’s hands full


Mummy’s hands full = Shit not getting done

Need some superpowers right about now please.

Supermum

When you have a newborn you become quite an expert at doing things with one hand and a teeny tiny baby in the other. You relish in your new-found skills and seek challenges to test your abilities.  Applying make-up, no problem, making a cuppa, easy.  But those skills are time limited.  In case you didn’t know, babies don’t stay tiny.  They get bigger, heavier, wrigglier.  Sometimes they attempt to dive out of your arms for no apparent reason and you need lightning reflexes for the catch.  You no longer have a free arm.  Add to the equation a bigger child to look after too and you will soon learn your limitations.  Supermum I am not!

I can’t play Lego with the big one when holding the little one.  As much as he begs me to.  I can stick in a Disney DVD and watch it for the fourth time that day.

I can’t prepare a healthy snack of sliced apples and satsumas for the big one.  I can feel the judgement of Annabel Karmel when I give him his bag of chocolate coins from his Christmas stash.

I can pace back and forth with the little one, singing, rocking, and doing whatever it takes to get him to have some much-needed sleep, for as long as it takes.  I can’t stop the woman wanting to ask me if I would like to make a monthly donation to charity, hammering on the door as if she was being chased by an axe murderer, the very minute I the little one falls asleep in my arms.

can breathe a sigh of relief when the little one stays asleep and hiss at the big one to stay away from the window and pretend we are not in.  I can’t stop this annoying woman pressing her nose against the window and having a second go at hammering the door down.

I can open the door with the little one (by some miracle) still asleep in my arms, and shout in a whisper at the annoying woman some deranged ramblings from a very sleep deprived Mummy.  I can’t apologise enough to the neighbours who got an eyeful of me in my PJ’s and bed head when I did so.  At two in the afternoon.

can’t make the big one sausages and mash as requested.  I can shove some left over spag-bol in the microwave for him. At least he gets to eat.  I can’t say the same for me.

I can’t hold in the contents of my bladder all day.  At some point I do have to pee.  I Can’t do this whilst holding the little one. I can put him in his cot to scream whilst I run next door to the bathroom singing wheels on the bus at the top of my voice the whole time.

can’t look at the mountain of washing that is building without feeling mild heart palpitations.  I can tell the big one he can have a PJ day tomorrow so the mountain doesn’t get any bigger.

can’t  prepare dinner for my husband when he gets home.  Hell I can’t even say I’ll be showered or dressed.  I Can say I will be very pleased to see him.  I need the extra pair of hands!

Normal service shall be resumed once the little one’s antibiotics kick in.  Please note, no children were neglected during the stint of this illness.  They were very much loved and cared for.  We just had to make a few compromises.  Because I’m not Supermum, I’m just a regular mum doing my best.  TV and chocolate will get us through!

Nothing to see here Annabel.  Not least any Mum of the Year awards!
Nothing to see here Annabel. Not least any Mum of the Year awards!

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Claire Kirby

21 Comments on Where’s Supermum when you need her?

  1. Oh!! I have just woken up to the POX!!! On the first day of the Easter holidays. The 5 yr old is infected…and I just know that the little one will get it too.
    So I am with you! I am going leg it to Asda and buy loads of drugs, sweets and entertainment (plus a shed load of wine) as it looks as though I shall spend the next week barricaded in doors picking scabs off my kids.
    So happy I found this post today….it shall guide me through the dark road ahead!!xxx

  2. Chocolate and TV definitely make the world go round. It is so hard when they are poorly – I had a rule that everything else would wait, because it does! I hope all is well soon. Welcome to #PoCoLo, thanks for linking and hope to see you again x

  3. Honestly, when my little boy is ill, I never cope or achieve ANYTHING so to me, you are totally supermum for managing two kiddies in this situation, however many chocolate coins you hand out. Oh, and that’s very true that it used to be a lot easier to do things one-handed when they were tiny – I could apply make-up whilst holding a sleeping infant – that is definitely off the cards with a 1 year old! Hope your little one is better soon 🙂

  4. Brilliant post! I think we have all been there at some point and I can def relate to the hiding from the front door – and the mountain of washing (although we always have a mountain of washing!!) X #PoCoLo

  5. I hope the little one gets well soon. But a stint of DVDs, pjs and chocolates sounds good to me!
    Bloody annoying woman though. Even if you didn’t feel like Superwoman you did have an arch nemesis.

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