Your world stopped that day, and yet the rest of the world continued to function without you. People still go to work, people still smile and laugh, the milk still runs out. And whilst the rest of the world keeps turning you try to remember to breathe.
Loosing someone at Christmas is even harder. It’s a time of rejoicing and happiness, both of which are things that seem hard to imagine ever experiencing again right now. Your world as you know it has changed for ever.
At Christmas we are told to be thankful, yet you find yourself questioning everything, asking why, and hating how cruel the world can be. It’s hard to feel thankful.
Christmas is a time to believe in miracles, yet right now you find it hard to believe in anything, when the miracle you prayed so hard for didn’t happen.
I cannot begin to imagine the heartbreak you are feeling. And I cannot offer anything to take the pain away. I really wish I could. If I could take all this pain away from you I would do so in a heartbeat. And whilst you may feel so very alone right now, know that there is an army of love for you, waiting with arms open when you are ready to let us in.
I know this year your Christmas will be filled with many tears. I will shed them with you. And whilst I know your wounds will never heal, that there will always be a hole in your heart, I hope that next year brings you the strength and courage to find peace again, and that next year the Christmas lights will shine bright for you.
Life is tragic and beautiful and cruel and mundane and unexpected. Life is precious.
For B. I love you x