I may look like an ordinary Mum to you in my standard issue leggings and mum bun. But truth be told there’s more to this mum than meets her dark circled eyes. I have actual superhero skills.
These arms may not serve me well on the monkey bars in the park, but they posses a strength greater than Hulk’s. These arms can carry two wriggling children, book bags, lunch boxes, PE Kit, shopping (including 4 pints of milk and a bottle of wine), a scooter and Postman Pat’s van*. AT THE SAME TIME. And I don’t need to turn green to do this. Maybe just a slight redish tinge?
*Toy van obvs.
My sensory skills rival Superman’s. In a room full of thirty noisy children I can hear my child say “Mummy” above all the chaos. I can tell a dropped toy ‘thud’ from a banged head ‘thud’, and I can hear the Lego tub being emptied whilst I’m in the shower. I can spot a muddy puddle before we’ve turned the corner, and my ability to locate a lost toy is second to none. I can smell a dirty nappy from three rooms away, and can tell if hands have been washed with just one sniff.
But it doesn’t end there…
I can tidy a room when unexpected guest arrive at a speed to rival Wonder Woman’s twirls.
I carry the weight of mum guilt and parental worry without breaking a sweat.
My kiss has the power to stop tears.
My ‘look’ has the power to stop small people in their tracks.
My arms have the power to rock babies to sleep.
I can change a nappy with just one hand.
I make monsters under beds disappear.
I can catch vomit with my bare hands.
I can answer 50 questions in 60 seconds flat.
I can conquer actual mountains of laundry.
I can disguise vegetables in a bolognese sauce.
I can recall the first and second names of approximately 80 children and 40 cartoon characters.
I can host a kids party. Only real superheroes can do this, and survive.
I can resemble a functioning human being after a night of 2 hours broken sleep.
I can protect children from the meanest of hand driers by singing really loudly.
After mastering these super hero skills you’d think I would be able to leave the little one’s bedroom without kicking the toy box. Every. Single. Time. Sadly, for my toes, this is not the case.
My Superheroes in training…
What parenting super powers do you have?
This post supports the nPower Family Super powers campaign.
nPower are working with Peter and Emily Andre to find, share and celebrate the UK’s most useful, surprising and engaging parenting super powers.
Visit familysuperpowers.com and enter your family super power and you could win a family break at a UK theme park.
I am a member of the Mumsnet Bloggers Panel, a group of parent bloggers who have volunteered to review products, services, events and brands for Mumsnet. I have editorial control and retain full editorial integrity.
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