It’s been a busy few weeks with lots of changes in my house.  Lots of change means lots to do and lots to stress about.

H has started school which he is loving, but it has been a gradual start.  The first week he did three mornings until 12, the second week 5 mornings until 12, this week 5 mornings until 1 (having his dinner at school) and next week he will finally be full-time.  I get that easing him in gently is good for him, but I don’t know if I am coming or going!  But it feels like I am constantly coming and going to the school to drop him off or pick him up!  On top of that O has started on solid foods.  We are doing baby led weaning which is great.  Messy.  But great!  The problem is we are at the stage where he is eating meals (and by eating I mean throwing a lot on the floor and tasting some bits and smearing the rest over his face) but he is also still having milk.

I am in a perpetual state of feeding, cleaning and going to the school!  I have a to-do list as long as both my arms and none of it is getting done right now.  My house has not yet recovered from the summer holidays, there are piles of crap toys everywhere and nothing is in the right place.  The stuff that should be outside is inside, stuff that should be upstairs is downstairs and vice versa.  You get the picture.  It’s a messy one!

first daybaby led

I’m hoping next week things will start to settle down and our lives can start to resemble normal again.  In the meantime I seem to have an express train of thoughts running through my head.  It’s chaos in there.  I really wish there was a pause button or I could change the record.  Instead this is my therapy.  Get it all out there.  So please don’t judge.  I am neither crazy or neurotic.  These are just the ramblings of a normal mummy after a very busy few weeks.

These are the thoughts zooming round on that express train on one of my many trips to the school…

“Must wash my hair tonight.  Maybe I should get it cut.  I wish I had smooth and silky hair straight from the shower.  Instead I’m stuck with smooth and silky hair after an hour of blow-drying and GHDs.”

“O needs new socks”

“When should I ask H’s teacher how he is getting on?  I don’t want to be an annoying parent, they need time to get to know him, but if I leave it too long they might think I don’t care”

“No complete stranger, my baby is not hungry.  But you have literally only just met him and stopped me in the street to tell me, so you must know better than me, his own mother right?  And yes it is lovely that he is smiling at you, but no it doesn’t mean he likes you, because for the record he smiles at everyone.  Young, old, male, female, slightly creepy, very smelly, human or dog, he will smile.  Just like I am politely smiling at you now whilst I bite my tongue.”

“I love you O my happy soul but you need to start being more reserved with who you smile at because you have unfortunately inherited your mothers freak beacon”

“I really need to report all the broken glass on the pavement on the way to school.  It’s been over two weeks now and it’s still there.  That’s 40 times I’ve walked past it.  I can’t believe I just worked that out.”

“It’s getting to that time of year when I need to swap flip-flops for boots.  I should really sort out the shoe cupboard.  I’ll add it to my to-do list”

“Must buy party bag stuff for H’s birthday party.”

“Wonder how H got on with his school dinner today”

“I am going to have to do a list for all the stuff we need to take to the wedding next month.  Two days away with the boys is going to need some military precision planning.  What the hell am I going to wear?”

“I really want chocolate”

“Can’t believe H wants a birthday card on Cbeebies this year.  Can’t believe I have bought stuff to make one.  This is going to be a pintrest fail.  Things never look the way I envision them.  I am crap at crafts.  I bet I go to all this effort and they won’t show it.  I bet it’s going to cost a fortune for me to post.  I guess this will be my entertainment for the next few evenings!”

“Does it matter if O has the same vegetable 2 days in a row?  I feel like it’s a race to get him to try as many new things as possible.  Must stop stressing about it.  Baby led is supposed to be more relaxed.”

“Going to have to start planning Christmas soon”

“Must get an early night tonight.  Haven’t prepared dinner yet”

“Do I talk to H about the toy car he keeps putting in his school tray at tidy up time.  He know’s it is not his.  It’s quite ingenious really.  He’s found a way to make sure he always knows where it is and no one else can play with it!  Maybe I should leave it to the teachers.  He’s just settling in and it’s not doing any harm.  But I don’t want him to get into trouble.  I’ll talk to L about it tonight.”

“Please don’t fall sleep in your buggy now O. Two minutes from home. Leave him to sleep in his buggy or attempt to transfer to his cot. If he sleeps in his buggy he won’t sleep for long and will be exhausted by bath time. If I transfer him he might wake up and not go back to sleep. The decisions I have to make! I’m going for the transfer”


It’s not just me is it?  I’m exhausted!  I think I need a night out and some wine.  That might numb the voices inside my head for a while 😉







Claire Kirby

6 Comments on Stress Head

  1. I think we’re all running an internal debate over something or other – it’s definitely not just you!! Especially when it comes to chocolate!

  2. Wow! It’s as though you just got into my head and took some of the thoughts out!
    So, no, not just you (if it’s any consolation).
    You forgot the bit though where you a) calculate how many hours before the kids go to bed (too many) followed by hours you hope you’ll actually get to sleep yourself (not enough!). Please tell me that’s not just me.
    I need chocolate now though.

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