Are you unsure or questioning whether your little one is cutting some teeth?

Here are some sure fire signs to tell if you have a teething baby:

One

You have bags under your eyes big enough for a trip to New York in the January sales.  With a good exchange rate to boot.  No amount of Toche Eclat can save you from these bad boys.  Sunglasses is the only answer.  Even if you are indoors.

Touche eclat

 

Two

You have the mother of all back aches.  You thought being pregnant and 10 days overdue was bad! Your spine is being put through it’s paces.  You spent so long bent double over the cot last night that you wondered if you would ever be able to stand straight again. Your back is literally screaming at you to go get a massage, but apart from the obvious fact that you cannot detract yourself from a screaming baby, you would have to remove the sunglasses in public, and that is not going to happen.  You may not have showered for 2 days but you still have some self respect.

 

Three

You can’t stop rocking from side to side.  You’ve been doing it for 48 hours straight with a baby in your arms and now it is impossible to stop.  You rock whilst brushing your teeth.  You rock whilst stood at the stove.  You rock at the supermarket checkout for the 5 minutes you have escaped to stock up on Calpol and wine.  People look at you as if you are unhinged.  A woman with what can only be described as ‘bed head’, clutching wine, rocking side to side, wearing slippers and sunglasses.  It’s not your finest hour.

 

Four

You have completely exhausted your repertoire of songs.  You’ve done the classics, you’ve mixed it up with some modern stuff because you are down with the kids.  You’ve even gone old school and thrown in some Tiffany.  If this was a disco you’d be having a ball.  If only your audience was more appreciative.  I think we’re alone now, the screaming of your lungs is the only sound…

Best song ever to sing into your hairbrush

 

Five

Everything you own has damp patches on the shoulders.  You are no longer sure if it is baby dribble, snot or tears.  Hell it might even be some of your own.  At this point you don’t care.  You are going to live in your pajamas from now on in, as it doesn’t look like you will ever be leaving the house again.

 

If you have nodded in agreement to all of these then there is a high chance you are the parent of a teething baby. Unfortunately there is no cure, although wine and chocolate can ease the symptoms. Good luck. See you on the other side.

Of course these are also the signs of being a parent of a baby with colic, a baby with a cold, a baby with a fever, and a baby who thinks sleep is for chumps.

Maybe I should rename this post: Signs You Have a Teething Baby.  (Just in case your shot pelvic floor muscles weren’t enough of a give away).

 

Teeth

 

 

 Check out more baby related humour here

 

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31 Comments on Signs Your Baby is Teething

  1. We seemed to skip teething last time round in amongst transplants and other dramas. I’m hoping Poppy is a tough cookie and we don’t suffer! !

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  3. Hello guys, I’m a new parent and I’m desperately to get my three month little one to sleep through the night. At the moment I am fortunate to have four hours rest each night. Bless

  4. bwahaahaha!! I love love love your last line. Although if he/she isn’t teething, it might be a Wonder Week, right? Let me just check my app to check 😉
    I can’t wait until my natural inclination is no longer to sway around when on two feet!!
    #fartglitter

  5. Oh I really don’t miss the teething days. My LO coped really well to be fair, but the damp patches! They were never ending! Fab post 🙂 #fartglitter
    Laura x

  6. Ugh, teething is the worst. We’re hoping that’s what’s up with our chap at the mo but like you said it could be anything. I still stand and push empty shopping trolleys back and forth even when I didn’t take the baby shopping.

    Thanks so much for linking with #fartglitter xxx

  7. Ahh its horrible isn’t it!! my 2yr old still has 4 teeth to come through and iam dreading it! it so true about the back ache, I have spent up to 3hrs a night bent over Mia’s cot soothing her back to sleep and its draining, especially when your child normally sleeps through!

    #maternitymondays

  8. Yep, we’re going through this now. I spend a lot of time bent over the cot singing a mantra of ‘incey wincey spider’, with one leg in the air behind me to try to straighten and relieve the ache in my back. I like to think of it as teething yoga.

  9. We are in the last stages of teething – for now – with it being his back teeth, and they are causing pretty much the same problems!! I hope those teeth come through quick and fast for you!

  10. Hello there, o teething felt like it started very early and went on for a very long time! I remember it very well. I really enjoyed your post-and funnily enough we stocked up on Calpol and wine today! x #sharewithme

  11. Oh I remember the teething stages all too well with both of mine. I was lucky with my son they just appear and I never saw signs but all of these happened with my daughter. Great advice and tips. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

  12. Sounds like my night last night. You either have to laugh or else you’d cry! I need some touche eclait why have I not invested? My bags need their own truck!

  13. Brilliant – thankfully mine are two and four now, so over this stage – but I remember it well. God I love Tiffany too *shows age* Great post! x

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