The little boy who could barely write his own name now writes me notes and knows what a dodecahedron is. (I had to google it).
Whilst he has undoubtedly learnt so much, it’s fair to say the first year at school has been a pretty steep learning curve for Mummy too!
1 You can never have too many T-shirts.
I don’t know how it happens but every day there is a new ominous stain on his t-shirt. Ink, paint, food, mud. I’ve seen it all. Buy however many T-shirts you think you will need to get you through the week. Then buy another two just in case. Then buy one more just to be sure. Trust me you will use them. It’s also a good time to stock up on stain remover.
2 Class asssembies are the best free entertainment
Going to a class assembly is quite honestly one of my most favourite things to do. Cuteness overload. There’s always one who cries and breaks your heart. One who shouts and makes you laugh. And a teacher who likes like they are on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
3 Kids learn how to spell.
It’s fantastic and I’m really proud and everything, it’s just that my husband and I can no longer spell out words in a conversation without big ears telling us the word we are trying to conceal. We’ve had to develop a new code, which so far consists of mouthing words Miranda style, lots of head twitching, and never really being sure that you are following the conversation.
4 Kids learn how to spell.
Yes you would have thought I learnt this from number three. But no, I’ve still not grasped this fact. Hence a difficult conversation with my child about this birthday card that Daddy got. Fun times.
5 Things will be lost.
My child has come home with someone else’s jumper on several occasions. Not to mention the time he came home with his and another one, because I always send him in wearing two jumpers????!!! Then there are the times he comes home minus jumper completely. I am often found at the start of the school day rummaging through the dreaded ‘Jumper Dumper.’
6 Christmas starts early.
Way too early. You will be singing Christmas Carols in October and by the time the nativity comes round you are word perfect for all the new songs. Including the actions.
7 My calendar keeps me sane.
Number bags on Mondays, word wallets on Tuesdays, library Books on Wednesdays and so on and so on. Then there’s non uniform days, super hero days and the dreaded world book day to remember too!
8 Don’t make weekend plans.
Every weekend from now until eternity will be spent at a kids birthday party! Sometimes you’ll even do two in one day. Now that’s a joyous sugar come down to endure!
But there is light at the end of the tunnel, from year one it’s socially acceptable to drop and run. Except when you are the host. Then that’s not acceptable.
You won’t know how it happened but you will turn into that person who has a gift drawer. It’s full of birthday cards for 5 year olds, wrapping paper a plenty, and toys you picked up in the sale.
9 Book bags are a bit like Mary Poppins bottomless bag.
On an average day my son’s book bag will contain the following:
- School Newsletter
- Homework Diary
- Letter warning about nits
- A book
- Several pieces of ‘art’
- A stick
- A hand crafted badge / necklace / sword
- A paper aeroplane
- A Lego figure
- A jumper (may or may not be theirs)
All bits of paper will be screwed up in a ball.
10 Sods laws always apply on school runs.
Rain will always fall. Dog crap will always be stepped in. And the baby will always remove his socks in the buggy.
This sock was found the morning after the afternoon he lost it. And yes, it had rained.
11 The names of approximately 75 children, their siblings, their parents and their pets.
It’s a life skill! One for the resume.
12 Your kid will be riddled with disease!
Sickness bugs, chicken pox, the dreaded nits. They all do the rounds. Several times. Your kid is bound to get one, if not all of them.
I am a seasoned pro at this school business now. Bring on year one. I’m ready for you.
For all those of you who are welling up at the thought of their little ones starting school in September, it’s going to be OK. You are both going to be OK. Alright, maybe you won’t be OK on the first day, but after that you will. Promise. x
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