Fed up?  Fit to burst?  Can’t remember what it feels like to be able to bend in the middle? Peed 25 times already today and it’s only 10 O’clock in the morning?  Ready to smack the next person who asks “haven’t you had that baby yet” in the face?

I feel your pain mamma.  I know you’ve already googled ‘ways to bring on labour,’ and at this point you are willing to try pretty much anything, so here is my lowdown on ways to bring on labour:


Pregnant belly Bring It on


1 Sex

If there’s one thing you are not going to feel when you are 9 months pregnant its amorous. Or sexy for that matter.  All your thoughts are about what is coming out of there, not what is going in.  Chances are your husband has felt the brunt of your crazy hormonal mood swings, and is not really in the mood after you yelled at him for buying the wrong ice cream flavour. You wanted slated caramel, not caramel damn it.  Put it this way, having sex to get the baby in there is a lot more fun than having sex to get the baby out.


2 Pineapple

Pineapple contains the enzyme bromelain which is said to soften the cervix in preparation for labour.  You have to eat large amounts of pineapple for it to work.  What quantifies as a large amount of pineapple? Half a pineapple? A whole pineapple?  Two whole pineapples? No. Seven apparently.  Seven whole friggin pineapples. What is this Man Vs Food?  Have you seen the size of my belly?  There’s no room for seven pineapples in there.


3 Hot Curry

Spicy foods are said to stimulate the tummy and the womb.  But don’t forget it can stimulate other occurrences down there too!  But hey, what’s a bit of Deli Belly when you spend most of your time waddling to the bathroom to pee anyway.  Give it a go, it might be your last hot meal for a while.


4 Walking

The pressure of your baby’s head pushes down on the cervix and releases oxytocin, a hormone that can cause contractions to start.  Of course, if you are overdue chances are your baby’s head is engaged and walking with a head very literally between your legs is easier said then done.  Off you waddle now.


5 Caster Oil

It acts as a laxative and stimulates your tummy and womb.  As if you weren’t already worried enough about shitting yourself during labour.  Also, not recommended by the professionals. You know, the ones down the business end.


6 Nipple Stimulation

Said to release more of that oxytocin hormone that your body seems to be unwilling to produce of its own accord.  So if you are bored of daytime TV go ahead, have a tweak! Although your far more likely to be horrified by the sight of your swollen, veiny boobs and wonder if your nipples are always going to be this big.


7 Balloons

There’s a theory that blowing up balloons builds pressure in your abdomen and kick starts labour.  Whoever came up with that theory has obviously never been 10 days overdue, and huffing and puffing after the short walk to the bathroom (yes to pee, again).  And what are you supposed to do with all the effing balloons?


8 Birthing Ball

Bounce away, you never know it might shake things up a bit.  Or You’ll just stimulate your already way over stimulated bladder and pee your pants in the process.


9 Best Knickers

It is said to be sods law that if you are wearing your best knickers your waters will break. That’s if you can bend down in the first place to get them on, and that they still fit over your expanded arse.


10 Nothing

Sit back, relax and ignore all annoying well meaning phone calls.  Do all the things that you won’t be able to do for quite some time.  Paint your nails (not the toenails obviously as you haven’t seen your feet for 2 months now).  Read a book.  Drink a hot cup of tea.  Eat chocolate whilst you can still use the ‘eating for two’ excuse.  Your precious little bundle of joy won’t stay in there forever.  Even though at some point in the not to distant future you will be screaming for the gas and air and begging them to stay inside.


Pregnant belly

Thanks to my friend Mandy for allowing me to use her image of her pregnant belly.  Not only did she grow that beautiful bump, but she painted the picture too.


My babies were 10 days and 7 days overdue.  Every day overdue feels like a week!  

Did anything work for you or is it all just old wives tales?


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Claire Kirby

27 Comments on 10 Ways to Bring on Labour – A Not so Helpful Lowdown

  1. Great post but I am begging any women reading NOT to try castor oil! There is a reason it is not recommended by the professionals. There is a reason some places will refuse to sell it to pregnant women. It is so dangerous to the baby and can result in all sorts of problems and even death. There are many documented cases that highlight the dangers of castor oil. Please don’t risk it.

    (I’m writing from personal experience here. My brother’s baby died as a result of castor oil. It caused her to swallow the meconium).

  2. Blowing up balloons?! That’s one I didn’t come across! I swear walking and bouncing on a birthing ball helped me … I contemplated the pineapple, but seven is slightly excessive even when you’re desperate!

  3. All 3 of mine were c~sections so I delivered one week prior to due date except with number 2. My doctor was on a fishing trip so I had the c~section on my due date. Thankfully I had an awesome doctor and recovered quickly and you can barely see my scar. Thanks for hosting #FridayFrolics.

  4. Seven pineapples??!! I have heard of that story too, but didn’t realise you had to eat that many! I had a c-section, so no advice to give sorry. #FridayFrolics

  5. Very funny! I was really late with both of mine too. I have to say that sex did work for us, although neither of us actually enjoyed it!
    x Alice
    Thanks for hosting #fridayfrolics

  6. I ate 4 whole pineapples! I had to give up my mouth was hurting too much. Waste of time didn’t work, maybe if I ate 7 though. Love these. I spent so long googling them when I was pregnant both times.

  7. ‘As if you weren’t worried enough about shitting yourself during labour.’ Ha ha! 🙂 My girlies were early (twins often are) but I find it interesting that I wasn’t told to avoid pineapple, nipple stimulation or blowing up balloons! #Fridayfrolics

  8. At 38 weeks pregnant I bounced on the ball, wet myself and took myself off to hospital convinced my waters had broken. They were very polite when they broke it to me that i had merely voided my bladder. I tried all of these things and still got induced twice. Clearly have some kind of issue with letting go…..although apparently not the same issue with letting go of my bladder control. Great post. #fridayfrolics

  9. None of this worked for me, tried it all and lots more. Baby number one, 2 weeks late, 4 sweeps and 3 goes at induction; baby number two, 9 days late and 2 sweeps; baby number 3, 12 days late, 4 sweeps and a date for induction; baby number 4, 12 days late, 6 sweeps and an induction ! #FridayFrolics

  10. Haha – never heard the balloons one! My first was a few days early & second 4 days late. I ate ridiculous amounts of pineapple. Does it bring on labour? No. Do I eat pineapple any more? Noooo. (Your friend’s belly painting is amazing!) #fridayfrolics

  11. Haha! I wish I had seen this post two year ago when I was over-due with my daughter! Balloons eh? Who new? 🙂 Thanks for hosting. !!

  12. Great post! Both my babies were early so I was not quite ready for them! Any tips on not bringing on labour? !!

  13. Great post… just as well I’m not pregnant, I would have been to the loo seveal times just reading your post… giggle incontenance I used to call it! #fridayfrolicks

  14. All three of mine were overdue, in summer with temperatures of 30 and upwards. Not nice, I can tell you. The old sit-back-and-wait worked for me but Number Three had to be induced on the end.

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