I have two children and I am done making babies.  I no this with no shadow of a doubt.  Give me a newborn and I will coo and cluck and savour those cuddles, but I won’t hand them back and feel a hole that another baby needs to fill.  My two kids are enough for me. Some days my children are too much for me!

Some days the noise, the constant questions, the biting my tongue and counting to ten so I don’t loose my patience, it is all too much.  

There are some people (Daily Mail readers) who would have you believe that this makes me a bad mother.  That I don’t deserve my children.  That I am not cherishing every goddamn moment.  They are wrong in the most part.  I’ll give them the last one, I am not cherishing every goddamn moment.  The sickness bugs, the potty training, the whinging and whining, it’s all part and parcel of having children, but I don’t need to cherish those moments.

I’ll cherish the cuddles, the giggles, the funny things they say, the times they sleep through the night and finish their dinner, but tantrums are not to be cherished.

 

children are too much for me

 

I love my boys more than I ever thought possible.  From the moment they were placed in my arms.  Ok so maybe the ‘holy crap what just happened‘ moment came first, but after that.  I know my boys inside out, I’d walk to the ends off the earth for them (in comfy shoes) and I’ll go mama bear on anyones arse if they hurt them.

But kids are full on.  They are exhausting.  And there are days when, for want of a better word, I feel ‘mothered out’.  When everyone needs a piece of me and I have given everything. When it feels like I have nothing left to give.  When the constant demands are overwhelming and I just want space to breathe and think, time to myself.  When I was a kid my Mum used to say “I’m going o change my name”.  I get it now.

I am an introvert at heart.  

Before the kids came along the husband and I had an active social life.  But for me, I loved the evenings I got to myself.  PJ’s, a good soppy movie, and chocolate is my ideal night.  I like being by myself.  I’m pretty awesome to hang out with.

As much as I love my kids and being a mother was the only thing I have ever been sure I wanted to be for as long as I can remember, it doesn’t really give you much time for yourself. Not even to pee. 

I used to listen to the Daily Mail Readers, and when those feelings of wanting five minutes peace crept in I would feel guilty.  When I lost my patience and shouted at the kids I would cry about being a terrible mother.  And when I felt like I needed a break I felt undeserving of being a mother.

But now I listen to me.  And when it gets overwhelming, when I have had enough and feel ‘mothered out’ I swallow the feelings of guilt, throw the kids at my dearly supportive husband and bugger off out for the day.  Of course the reality isn’t that simple, with the kids hectic social lives, planning a day to myself is more military operation than spontaneous abanodon. But I plan it, and I look forward to it.

I get to listen to my songs in the car, turn it up loud and sing.  Traffic jams are welcome.  I get to walk around shops and browse without having to bribe anyone.  I get to finish a thought in my head without telling a toddler to stop bouncing on the sofa.  I get to be me minus my double act for a while and it feels good.  

 

children are too much for me

 

I’m done with society making me feel like I should apologise for that.  That because I had kids, I don’t get to be me anymore.  That because every now and then I rejoice at having a few child free hours it somehow diminishes the love I have for my children.

The truth is that in my time away that I craved so much I miss them like crazy.  I wonder what they are up to.  I smile at other kids I see and compare them to my own, and after some down time I can’t wait to get back and see their faces and give them a squeeze.  And I come back a better mother.  More relaxed, less shouty.  My bucket of patience full to the brim and looking forward to hearing the word “Mummy.”

Sometimes I can’t get enough of my children.  Sometimes my children are too much for me. Both are my truth.  And I am alright with that. 

 

 

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19 Comments on My Children Are Too Much For Me

  1. Yes to this! I feel exactly the same and you have put it to so well. Being a mum is so demanding, amazing but so hard and we all deserve a break.xx #dreamteam

  2. Oh, this is so very relatable! I love my kids more than life, and I would love to take a shower alone again, pee without questions, drink my coffee while it’s hot, and talk on the phone on the rare occasion it is necessary! Spot on! #dreamteam #fridayfrolics

  3. So so very true and hurray to this! It isn’t all butterflies and snuggles, it’s hard work and emotionally demanding and no matter how much we love them sometimes we just need to be us! I’ve now finally got one day a fortnight home by myself with both tots at school and nursery now where I’m not at work. It’s insane! The first day I just sat blinking at the wall not entirely sure what to do with myself. I realised I could literally count on one hand the number of times I had been home alone in 5 years! Even just for ten minutes? It’s a whole new experience and I feel like a new person for it so I couldn’t agree with you more. Thanks for linking to #DreamTeam x

  4. I love this and it’s so true…some days I love being with the kids and others are just so tough. The thought that I should be enjoying every little moment is just impossible for me…those tantrums when she lies horizontal on the floor in the supermarket are moments I’d rather forget! Thanks so much for linking up to #dreamteam x

  5. I love this post. I can definitely relate to this. I adore my children but there are definitely times when parenting is overwhelming, relentless and exhausting. Those child-free hours help me to regain my sanity and make me a nicer mummy when I’m with the children again. #coolmumclub

  6. Everything that you said!!!!! This is exactly it Claire-the day you give birth, you are expected to become a machine. Someone with a never ending pool of giving, not allowed to feel tired, expected to be on hand to meet someone’s needs on a 24/7 basis, and never complain but feel constantly grateful. Then they wonder why the incidence of mental health problems is so high in mothers…*rolls eyes hard.* Like you, I’m grateful for my children, but the tantrums and crappy bits can naff off. I love them, but will not always like them. And I will crave time to myself and not feel guilty for it. My children are mainly too much for me too! Thanks for such a brilliant, honest, and relatable post! Xx
    #bigpinklink

  7. Hi, its nice to read a brutally honest post about parenthood, its not always rosy, and its good to have some me time just to recaharge those batteries. I love singing badly to my favourite tunes in the car when its just me #bigpinklink

  8. How you mentioned the Daily Mail readers. That cesspit of hell wound me up yesterday. Because of an article regarding Louise Redknapp. It seems, according to their educated readers, the second you give birth, you’re no longer a woman with feelings etc, just a Mother.
    Idiots.

    Great post. #bigpinklink

  9. Already read this but popping back from #coolmumclub and it’s still a great read the second time round. I’ve NEVER been a patient mum so I relate to a lot of this especially the wanting to change my name! But coming back from just a few days away for BML…I couldn’t wait to hug them. Beautifully written post.

  10. So articulately put Claire. I have struggled over the past few weeks with a bad spell with the toddler, and those few hours respite each week are enough to just keep me going for another day!
    We all need to be alone sometimes…and boy does it feel amazing
    Thank for sharing with #coolmumclub you award winning blogger you 😉

  11. So articulately put Claire. I have struggled over the past few weeks with a bad spell with the toddler, and those few hours respite each week are enough to just keep me going for another day!
    We all need to be alone sometimes…and boy does it feel amazing
    Thank for sharing with #coolmumclub you award winning blogger you 😉

  12. So articulately put Claire. I have struggled over the past few weeks with a bad spell with the toddler, and those few hours respite each week are enough to just keep me going for another day!
    We all need to be alone sometimes…and boy does it feel amazing
    Thank for sharing with #coolmumclub you award winning blogger you 😉

  13. I think you can be an amazing mother and still not love the crappy parts of motherhood, I know no parent who is 100 happy stardust all the time. This morning my son spent 45 minutes crying about putting his socks on, then threw molten Weetabix on the floor, etc and I didn’t think AWW this is lovely. Fab post lovely #coolmumclub xx

  14. This is so true for me in almost every way! I always say I’m a social introvert, and much as I love being with friends/family I really need time by myself to recharge. I need to schedule some of that in pronto!

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