If you know anyone tying the knot this summer, then chances are in the next few weeks an envelope is going to land on your doorstep.
Now that envelope might be somewhat chunky as it probably contains the actual invite, a reply card, details of a gift registry, list of accommodation, directions. Basically the bride
and groom have tried to think of everything you need to know about their day, and put it in that beautifully presented little package for you.
That package contains the blood sweat and tears of a bride who has spent hours on Pinterest searching for ideas, spent sleepless nights worrying about the guest list, scrimped and saved every last penny she can and not eaten any chocolate for the last six months to create the wedding of her dreams.
Do you know what I do when I get a wedding invite through the post?
I get excited. Excited for my friends getting married. Excited that I get to go. I start planning. The gift, my outfit, where we are going to stay. Invariably there is also some number crunching involved, attending a wedding isn’t cheap. But you can guarantee the cost per guest is a shed load less than what the bride and groom are shelling out in order for me to have a free meal, get very drunk, and belt out Livin’ on a prayer like I’m the new member of Bon Jovi.
Do you know what the Mumsnet brigade do when they get a wedding invite? They moan and have a big whinge. They get an invite from presumably someone they like, and they complain. I can’t help but get drawn into the comments and I find myself amazed at how easily offended and miserable people are. It’s a wedding, everyone loves a wedding, right?
Let’s start with the big one, the one that gets some people really really angry…
Now admittedly, my kids are young guests to attend a wedding. But we have attended five weddings in the last three years with them in tow, and do you know what? It’s hard bloody work. Wedding’s aren’t very exciting or interesting when you are three. Newborns don’t care if they are being called for a photograph when they want feeding. I love my boys to the moon and back, but last year when we received an invite to a ‘no kids’ wedding I cracked open the champagne. I’m not joking.
A day of being waited on, talking to actual adults, and getting pissed and dancing the night away with my husband. Sign me up NOW. A chance to remember where we began, who we were, and how far we’ve come (everyone gets a bit sentimental at weddings, right?) But seriously what’s not to love about that? I’m there. With bells on.
Yes kids at weddings can be cute and funny – when they are not your own. I love seeing a little one toddle down the aisle in a beautiful dress with her finger up her nose. But kids at weddings are expensive for the happy couple. If my husband and I did it all again tomorrow there would be 23 kids to invite without even thinking about it. That’s a lot of kids!
I get that it’s not always easy to get baby sitters. But I don’t get people being offended because ‘we come as a package.’ Get over yourself! The bride and groom are not trying to insult you or upset you. They are just trying to have a wedding that they don’t end up paying off for the rest of their married life.
And you know what? It’s THEIR day. Not yours.
Bride and Groom how dare you ask for something that you might actually want or need. ‘Happyhealthymumof2‘ was planning on buying you a teapot and doesn’t give a crap if you already have three and only drink coffee. And those of you that have the audacity to ask for money towards your honeymoon. I mean who do you think you are? It’s not as if you’ve been ploughing all of your savings into lets say a sit down meal for 100 people with free alcohol and evening entertainment. Quite frankly you should just manage your money better.
But seriously, why is it so offensive to have a gift register or ask for money? I would much rather get the bride and groom something that will make them happy, I mean they are my friends! People that I like.
And it’s THEIR day. Not yours.
There is a wide option of things for the Mumsnet brigade to complain about when it comes to the menu, including this little gem about a lack of menu…
My husband and I have just been to a family wedding where there was no food. One drink on arrival and one for the toast. We paid to travel there and back. It has cost us a fortune. It was an afternoon wedding, not just an evening party. There was no music / dancing etc. The couple earn far more than we do. AIBU to feel resentful that I paid so much for a wedding present?
Source: Mumsnet AIBU
Now to give some context, the author of this comment replies later in the thread to say the wedding was 2pm – 5:30pm.
Now allow me to respond…
1 There’s not normally a meal eaten between 2pm and 5:30pm on any other day. I’m sure you can forgo food for the few hours that you were a guest at the wedding.
2 I wasn’t aware that brides and grooms covered the travel expenses of their guests.
3 It sounds to me like the bride and groom wanted a simple wedding, focusing on the actual ceremony surrounded by the people they love.
4 I don’t think I’ve danced at a pre 5:30 disco since my 8th birthday party. I did bust some pretty amazing moves to Mel & Kim though.
5 How is it relevant or any of your business what the couple earn or how they choose to spend their money?
6 You are being unreasonable simply for using the acronym for ‘Am I being unreasonable?’.
7 I wasn’t aware that there was a direct correlation between the free food and drink supplied at a wedding, and the amount of money spent on a gift for the bride and groom. My bad.
8 It’s THEIR day. NOT yours.
The average wedding in the UK costs £30k. THIRTY-THOUSAND pounds! If I’m spending that much of my hard earned cash on something, you can bet your bottom dollar it’s going to be exactly how I want it, and no, I don’t think I am being unreasonable!
Be grateful the next time you receive an invite from someone who thinks enough of you to invite you to share in one of the most special days of their life. I mean how dare they? It’s just plain rude.
It’s THEIR day. NOT yours.
*Apologies for the blatant use of AIBU in the title of this post. It won’t ever happen again.
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