In my head I was thinking that I will ooze professionalism, sophistication, and calmness. I will be in control and I will know what I am doing. This is my second conference, I am a seasoned pro now. Of course in reality things weren’t that straightforward and didn’t exactly go to plan. So here’s how not to attend an awards ceremony…
Do Not Take The Heaviest Suitcase
Despite trying on a million outfits before going and deciding to wear the first one you tried on, do not at the last minute decide to pack 4 back up outfits. Pack light. If not you will arrive in Waterloo looking less ‘London Chic’ and more ‘Hot Sweaty Mess’. (It would also be advisable to chooses a hotel that doesn’t have 2 flights of stairs to lug your suitcase up just to get to the entrance).
Friday night TV sucks and I had the foresight to take along my Chrome book so decided to settle in with Netflix in my hotel room to take my mind off my nerves for my key note. However the wifi in my room was slower than my kids getting their shoes on so I used my data instead. All of it. What kind of a blogger uses all of their data before attending a blogging event where they should be tweeting and instagraming and all those other thing social influencers do?
Keep Thinking Ahead
Do not watch a friends recommended movie and forget she told you it was a weepy. Crying buckets whilst watching Me Before You and waking up with red puffy eyes was not the smartest idea I have ever had.
Do Not Have a Wardrobe Malfunction
Whilst sitting in the very first session of the day I happened to glance down and notice something poking through my dress. The underwire from my left bra cup was making a bid for freedom. So whilst listening to people give an important talk about how to be a great influencer I was subtly using my jacket as a blanket whilst I yanked the underwire out of my bra and discreetly put it in my bag, all the while hoping that a) no one noticed, b) if they did they didn’t think I was coping a feel, and c) I wouldn’t be walking around with lopsided boobs for the rest of the day.
Do Not Make Yourself Look Like a Circus Freak
I found myself in the same bar as the brilliant Lad Baby who happens to be the tallest man in the world (not a confirmed fact). I am the shortest person in the world (could actually be a fact as I have never met anyone shorter than me). When people notice that the worlds tallest man and the worlds shortest woman are in the same room, they will want photos. And by people, I mean you Fran (Whinge Whinge Wine).
Do No Fall Over
It could only happen to me. I full on face planted on the way back to my hotel. And of course landed in a massive puddle. And whilst my brain was screaming “Quick get up, nobody saw”, the Prosecco running through my veins seemed to be delaying the message getting to my limbs which had lost all functionality whilst my dress continued to absorb the puddle.
Do Not Get Lost
It can be quite easy to get lost in London as a tourist. But I actually managed to get lost in my hotel looking for my room. I wondered the corridors which all looked exactly the same carrying goody bags, my award, and the change of clothes I never changed into, in my wet puddle dress, desperately trying not to wee myself. And when I finally found my room? The key didn’t work. So I had to go all the way back to reception looking like a tramp and still desperately trying not to wet myself.
There was not nearly as much professionalism and sophistication as I had hoped. But it was an unforgettable day.
I managed to get through my key note without falling over on stage or getting my name wrong (yes I have done that before). All of the key notes were brilliant, funny, brave and incredibly moving. Huge well done to Mummy Tries, Little Ladies Big World, Rhyming With Wine and Man vs Baby. I urge you to click on the links and read their fantastic posts.
(Photo courtesy of Absolutely Prabulous – After a few Proseccos!)
I really didn’t expect to win the Readers Choice award and was genuinely shocked. The finalists are blogs I love and it was incredible company to be in, Absolutely Prabulous, Whinge Whinge Wine, Slouching Towards Thatcham, The Mum Project, Coombe Mill, Catherine’s Cultural Wednesdays, and Ekaterina’s Greek Expectations.
My Oscar Moment…
I’m not sure what I said on the night as I really didn’t expect to win, but here is what I should have said:
It is always humbling when someone reads my posts and comments to say they were having a bad day and I cheered them up. But I always find it such a relief when I write about experiences such as the kids getting nits for the first time and discover that completely freaking out is a normal reaction, and that Topsy and Tim’s Mum is the weird one.
I try to be funny, but I always try to be real. I love my life but it is not instagram perfect. Whilst my kids fill me with pride and make me so happy, they also thrown tantrums and make me want to pull my hear out.
I love writing my blog and it means the world to me that people read it and like it. So thank-you, and thank-you for voting, and for all of your lovely comments on the award.
I would like to say a special Thank-you to Emma from Brummy Mummy of 2. She was one of the first blogs I read and fell in love with. I have had the pleasure of meeting her twice now, and she is one of the nicest and funniest people I have ever met. Totally fan girling here but I’m not even sorry. When I first started blogging I e-mailed Emma and asked her for blog advice. I didn’t have a clue about blogging! I cringe now at how awful my posts were when I first started. But Emma took the time to give me some great advice. I always think the first experiences when you are starting something new shape how things turn out. And Emma taking the time to give me advice (and not laugh at how shockingly bad I was) put me on the right path and helped me get where I am now. Thank-you for being so lovely Emma.
And finally thank-you to my husband who believes in me more than I do, and always supports me. And to my two cheeky monkeys who inspire me to write. I love you.
So that’s my Oscar moment done. What a weekend! I am completely broken now. Tired and no voice, but you know, school run and laundry waits for no man!
Thanks to BritMums for hosting. I love my award but I have to say The Big One was suitably unimpressed. He was expecting a ginormous trophy and did little to hide his disappointment!
Please keep reading and following.