Life – Funny Stuff

Life, Love and Dirty Dishes is mainly about parenting.  Living life with small people and the situations we find ourselves in.  Life refers to the funny stuff.  If becoming a parent has taught me anything, it’s enjoying simple pleasures and having a sense of humour about things.  How else would we survive the poonamis and the tantrums?  If you’ve stumbled into this category I hope these posts make you laugh and brighten your day a little.

50 Reasons My Kid Wakes Me Up

I don’t need an alarm clock.  I haven’t had one since 2009.  Instead I have a kid who wakes me up at a ridiculously early time each morning for the following reasons… (I believe only one of them was actually worth waking me up for) My kid wakes me up… 1 To tell me has […] Read more…

I need a wee

I Need a Wee: The Inconvenient Times Your Kid Needs to Pee

Once you start potty training your kids you become an expert in knowing the location of every toilet within a mile radius from where you are.  You can spot the wee-wee dance quicker than you used to bust out your ‘Saturday Night’ moves to Whigfield. There are however some times when hearing “I need a […] Read more…

10 Things Only Hay Fever Sufferers Will Know

There are two types of people in this world.  Those that suffer with hay fever and those that don’t.  I fall into the first category and find that those in the second category rarely understand what we go through. My hey fever is not limited to the summer months.  I suffer with it all year […] Read more…

Toddler on The School Run Problems

I am the frazzled mum in the school playground.  The one who looks stressed, a bit sweaty, and pretty close to loosing her shit.  Why?  Because I have a toddler on the school run. Let’s face it, getting out of the house with the kids in tow, on time, and ready to go, is no […] Read more…

room in the pushchair

Room in the Pushchair – A Parody of Room on the Broom

The Mummy had a boy with a red car toy, and dry shampooed hair which she wore without care. How the boy squealed and how the mummy grinned, as she walked him in his pushchair through sun, rain and wind. But how the Mummy wailed and how the boy shouted ‘Oi’. When the wind blew […] Read more…

Letter of Complaint to the Special Delivery Service

  To whom it may concern at the Special Delivery Service Head Office, As a resident of Pencaster I have become increasingly concerned with the actions of our local Special Delivery Service mail man, who goes by the name of Pat Clifton. I have known Pat for many years and I have turned a blind […] Read more…

the chickenpox house

The Chickenpox House

Last month Big got the Chickenpox.  I would love to tell you that we all coped brilliantly with a week of confinement, that there was much baking and crafts and we all thoroughly enjoyed each others company.  It didn’t exactly happen that way…  Day One in the Chickenpox House Mummy is awoken at an ungodly […] Read more…

Thank goodness for spag bol

#ThankGoodness for Spag Bol

Spaghetti bolognese is always a firm favourite in our house.  One of the few meals that the kids won’t turn their noses up and will be eaten with out whinging or the “two more mouth fulls” game.  Especially when spag bol is served with garlic bread. It’s one of those great mid-week meals that I […] Read more…

The Great British Etiquette debate written on an image of umbrellas

The Great British Etiquette Debate

I found myself in a random situation the other day.  A situation that got me thinking about etiquette.   I had just done the school run and had about 20 minutes to kill before a dentist appointment.  I decided to have a quick mooch around our local supermarket as I was child free and we […] Read more…

Badges of Honour scooped poo out of the bath

Badges of Honour

First smiles, the first time they sleep through the night, first steps, first day at school.  All big milestones for our little ones. But what about the parents?  What about the milestones we reach?  What about the crap that no one warns you about?  The first Poonami.  That one’s traumatic.  There are things as parents […] Read more…

Image of an alarm clock with the text How parents Really Spend Their Time

How Parents Really Spend Their Time

Before you become a parent people issue you lots of warnings about time.  So you figure you have a handle on how parents really spend their time.  They warn you that time goes really quickly, and to treasure every minute.  You soon learn that time does go really quickly, but some tantrum and poo filled […] Read more…

My Husband Cheated on me

My Husband Cheated on me Whilst I slept Upstairs

And I Forgave Him We’ve been married for 11 years.  Together for 23.  Childhood sweethearts.  He is my everything, my best friend, my rock.  The one person who knows me better than anyone else. I though I knew him.  I thought he was the one person who would never hurt me, who would never let […] Read more…

Super Mum Skills

Superhero Skills

I may look like an ordinary Mum to you in my standard issue leggings and mum bun.  But truth be told there’s more to this mum than meets her dark circled eyes.  I have actual superhero skills. These arms may not serve me well on the monkey bars in the park, but they posses a […] Read more…

When Kids Drop Their Nap: The 5 Stages of Grief

It happens to us all at some point.  The days suddenly get a whole lot longer when your darling child decides that sleep is for the weak, and there is far too much mayhem to be caused to have a daytime nap. I appreciate that when kids drop their nap it’s a difficult time.  I’ve […] Read more…

My Favourite’s Favourites

It was my birthday on Friday.  My one day a year where it gets to be all about me.  Kind of.  I mean there are still arses to wipe, mouths to feed, and I think there a few years to go before I actually get to open my presents myself.  But it’s more about me […] Read more…

The Sessions: AKA Sing-Along Parodies

So I may not be able to give Adele a run for her money when it come to belting out a tune, but when it comes to writing them, I can’t either! However I have given a few songs a bit of a re-write with a parenting twist. If you fancy a sing along then […] Read more…

Lottery balls with the text The Parenting Lottery

The Parenting Lottery

Last Monday I was staring out of the window at the torrential rain wishing for it to stop before my fourth school run of the day, (that’s more than enough reasons to hate Monday’s right there) and I found myself daydreaming of a warmer climate and sand between my toes. Of course such a fantasy […] Read more…

The Parenting Advice You Really Need

I often wonder if people stumbling across my blog after searching for “What can’t you do when pregnant?” are disappointed by what they find.  You see I’ve been a parent for seven years now, but I’m still learning.  I’m still making mistakes.  That’s why if you are looking for advice, my blog isn’t really the […] Read more…

It’s Life, But Not As We Know It

I was never one of those soon-to-be parents that thought a baby would just slot into my existing life and nothing would change.  However!  I don’t think anyone can prepare you for your life being turned up on it’s head and bearing no resemblance at all to your former existence.  I mean if they did, […] Read more…

The Lies We Tell

The Lies We Tell At Christmas

I know there are parents out there who do not tell their kids about the big man in red flying around the world on Christmas eve in a sleigh pulled by reindeer and delivering Christmas presents to all the children on the nice list.  There are parents who don’t buy into the lies we tell […] Read more…

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