Rookie Mistakes is a series where guest bloggers divulge their parenting fails, and make us laugh or inspire us in the process. We all try our best but I’m certainly not a Pintrest perfect parent. They say you learn from you mistakes, I am definitely learning a lot about parenting!
This weeks guest post comes from Dawn who blogs at Rhyming With Wine. Dawn’s post is one of those heart stopping wtf moments of parenting that need a few glasses of wine to get over, and a bit of time before you can laugh about it. That time has passed and Dawn tells her story in this fabulous poem.
I am the incredibly proud, 37 year old mum of two very busy children. Miss Tot is 3 and Mstr Tot is just 1. We live in Yorkshire with their wonderful Dad, my lovely hubby, who is fondly known as “Daddy Pig”, as he is of course “rather an expert at everything”. The last three years have been mind blowing, if a little bit mental.
Rhyming with Wine is an ongoing collection of rhymes about the general silliness of our family life. Most of them are intended to share a giggle, though I can’t promise that the odd one won’t bring about a little tear too, (hopefully in a good way of course).
Rhyming with wine….
Because “whine” rhymes with “wine”, in much the same way as “tantrum” rhymes with “vodka” and generally most things rhyme with “cake!”
I recently came across the fantastic Rookie Mistakes Series by the lovely Claire at Life Love and Dirty Dishes. I have been thoroughly enjoying a weekly giggle ever since, with the amazing bloggers that she has featured, as they share their parenting “oops” moments.
I am also prone to the occasional (frequent) brain fart, but there was one episode in particular that I thought I should perhaps share…
So Just A Few Days Ago, This Happened…
We’re all heading out for a fabulous day,
I strap in both kids and we’re off on our way!
I’m not far from home, just a couple of miles,
myself and my daughter, her face full of smiles.
And Mstr Tot too, (but he’s having a whinge,
in fact his odd screaming is making me cringe!?)
I get into lane to approach the M1.
Then all of a sudden, the crying has gone?
I’m smug with relief, till I hear my girl shout
“STOP THE CAR MUMMY! THE BABY FELL OUT!!”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN??” I yell over the din.
(The panic now all of a sudden kicks in).
I check in the mirror but can’t see his face,
and all that remains in his car seat’s a space!?
“WHERE IS YOUR BROTHER?” I frantically shriek,
But now my young lady’s refusing to speak!
I slam on a signal and try to stay calm.
I try not to freak out and cause us more harm.
I swerve to avoid the impending M1,
and try to work out where the hell my son’s gone!?
I know that he can’t really go very far.
The doors are all locked so he’s still in the car.
But I can’t see my boy and he’s making no sound?
I’m panicking more as my heart starts to pound.
Where has he gone? Is he under my seat?
I glance, half expecting him there at my feet.
I desperately stop at the first legal spot.
Frantically trying to seek out my tot.
I leap from the car and I open his door,
and there he is grinning, stood up on the floor.
Merrily wedged at the back of my seat,
Bouncing about on his two tiny feet.
I grab him and hug, overwhelmed with relief,
and steady my hands as they shake like a leaf.
My mind races over and questions his skill.
How on earth has he managed to dismount at will?
I buckled him in as per all the advice.
I know it was fastened! I checked the belt twice!
I really don’t know how the hell it was done.
He’s hardly Houdini, he’s barely turned one??
So after the kisses I strap him back in,
all chuffed with himself with a big cheeky grin.
His sister looks down at her brother with pride,
and new found respect for the stunt he’s just tried.
We’re back in the car now and back on our way.
But I’ve picked up a valuable lesson today.
From now when I check that his seat belt is tight,
I’ll tug it and test it with all of my might.
I’ll audit that car seat from seatbelt to base…..
…. and carry a padlock and glue just in case!!
Thank you Claire for the opportunity to feature in this fantastic series, and for allowing us to share in each other’s parenting fails. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one!
You can follow Dawn’s blog Rhyming With Wine on facebook and twitter.
Have you ever had any Rookie Mistakes in the car?
You can read previous guest posts from the Rookie Mistakes series here.
If you are a blogger and wish to take part in the series you can find out more here.
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