I’ve been watching My Last Summer on channel 4. If you haven’t seen it, it’s about a group of terminally ill people who are brought together and the friendships they from as they deal with their illness and the impact it has on their families.
Tough viewing and food for thought. The hardest bit for me was watching them with their children. I cannot comprehend not being there for my boys. We all want the best for our children and ultimately I want my boys to be happy, loved and forefilled. But it shouldn’t take something teribbily sad to make us tell our loved ones our hopes and dreams for them. I also know that if I tell my 4 year old I want him to fall in love and get married, he will tell me that he wants to marry me.
So instead of trying to imagine my four year old and three month old as grown up men who no longer need me to dry their tears, wipe their noses and build their lego (silently weeping at the thought) I thought I should tell them what I want for them for the next year of their life.
To H (my chatterbox)
I wish you a summer full of sunshine, ice lollies and squirty water bottles. I will do my best to make it fun, and in your moments of boredom I will try to remember to cherish these days with you, for come September the majority of your day will be spent away from me for the first time in your life.
My big boy starting school. I hope you love school and your teachers, and I can’t wait to help you with your homework and watch in amazement as you learn to read and write. I hope you make lots of friends (and I hope they are the sort of friends I want you to have). I hope your teachers see the wonderful boy that I do. and I hope that at the end of the day you are not too tired to share with me part of your new world.
I hope that as you turn 5 (how did that happen) you will stop sucking your thumb becuase I fear you will be picked on for it. I am also at a loss as to how to get you to stop. I also hope you grow out of the ‘poo poo head’ stage but fear that you wont!
Try your best at everything, and remember if you feel frustrated take a few deep breaths and try again.
Love Mummy xxx
To O (My beautiful bubba)
I wish you a wonderful year of firsts. I wish your first word to be ‘mama’. I promise to cherish each first becuase your arrival completed our family, so I know these firsts will be my last.
I hope your teeth come through with no pain, but I promise to be there with cuddles and kisses when they don’t. I hope you enjoy your first taste of solid foods and am actually looking forward to the mess!
I want you to smile, giggle, dribble, bounce, gurggle, coo, wiggle and poop as much as your heart desires.
Love Mummy xxx