Valentine’s day is nearly upon us. How it’s changed for me over the years. In my teens I would obsess over the perfect Valentine card to give the boy of the hour. And when it wasn’t reciprocated I would spend hours crying into my pillow whilst listening to Roxette “It must have been Love”. In my early twenties I enjoyed Valentine’s day with smugness, as being in a relationship meant I didn’t have to be miserable on February 14th. Now in my thirties Valentine’s doesn’t have the same emotional drama, but it doesn’t seem as shiney and exciting anymore either.
Am I cynical? Have I lost the romance of it all? The way I see it is, there are two distinct types of Valentine’s people. Those who love it, and those who hate it. Both however, are damned if they do, and damned if they don’t.
The Valentine Lovers
The Valentine Lover is easily spotted at this time of year. Normally in card shops buying cutesy heart-shaped chocolates, cuddly toys saying “I love you”, tiny heart balloons on a stick, and any other
tat things they can get their hands on. I’m all for receiving presents, but frankly, a gift is for life, not just for Valentines. I’m also not a teenager anymore. Presenting me with a cuddly toy that says “I Love You” actually says “I bought this last-minute, and put no thought into it whatsoever!” Romantic huh?!
The Valentine Lovers are the one’s that spend a fortune on red roses. A dozen is not enough for some people. Kanye bought Kim 1000 red roses for Valentine’s last year. Instead of making me swoon, it just makes me question his already questionable sanity. Seriously, what do you do with 1000 red roses? Who has that many vases? What if the smell was so overpowering it sent you into a rose infused coma? And how is he going to top that this year? I’m all for romantic gestures, but two weeks later when you are filling the bins with 1000 rotting roses, it doesn’t feel so romantic.
Valentine’s evening sees restaurants filled with The Valentine Lovers, enjoying an over priced meal and sub standard service. Staring across from one another at a candle lit table for two, starry-eyed and desperately trying to think of romantic things to say. Oh the pressure! In that situation I go blank and all I can spout is Gary Barlow lyrics to my other half.
The Valentine Lover, also known as a romantic fool.
The Valentine Haters
The Valentine Haters shun anything to do with Valentine’s day. They proclaim it an overpriced commercial enterprise. They say they won’t be dictated as to when to be romantic and show their other halves how they feel. They do it all the time any way. Well if you are going to talk the talk, you’d better be walking that walk. Buying flowers for no reason two years ago doesn’t count as a romantic gesture. Nor does missing Top Gear so your other half can watch Corrie. If you are going to boycott Valentine’s you better have some serious hearts and flowers up your sleeve for the rest of the year.
What if your other half is one of The Valentine Lovers? The Valentine Lover won’t believe anyone could really hate this day. The more you huff and puff about hating Valentine’s, the bigger and better they are expecting the romantic gesture to be. Whilst you refuse to part with £2.50 for a Valentine’s card, they are deciding what to pack for a romantic weekend in Paris.
What do other people think of The Valentine Hater? Tight! As much as the world may laugh at The Valentine Lover they scorn The Valentine Hater.
I don’t love or hate Valentine’s day. I fall somewhere in the middle. Which means I’m not sure what I expect in terms of romance, but it has to be something. And I don’t go for the commercial gifts, which means it has to be something original. Not cheap tat, but not too expensive either. I don’t want to go out to dinner, but I don’t want to cook. There needs to be some sense of occasion, but lets not go crazy as we will be up at the crack of dawn with the kids. There really is no pleasing some people. Sorry husband!
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