I don’t know about you but I am looking forward to a couple of weeks with no school runs. Especially no cold and wet school runs.  It feels like I have to add half an hour to my mornings at the moment just to get us out of the door in time for the 5 minute walk to school.  Leaving the house is a military operation.

And it’s the same every morning.  After the cajoling into getting dressed, teeth brushed, changing the baby’s nappy, pleading with my 5 year-old to stop playing with Lego and come eat his breakfast.  I say “hurry up” on loop.  The hour and three-quarters from waking to leaving flashes by in a blur.  But it’s the last 5 minutes that frazzle my nerves and leaves me wondering ‘is it bedtime yet?’!

This is my dance: The Winter Waltz

  • Wrestle baby into his coat
  • Tell the big one to get his shoes on
  • Strap baby into buggy
  • Tell the big one to get his shoes on
  • Place blanket over baby and attempt to do up the ‘buggy muff’ thingy
  • Tell the big one to stop stamping up and down in his shoes and get his coat on
  • Undo ‘buggy muff’ thingy as baby has pulled the blanket out and start the process again
  • Reason with the big one that he must wear his coat with the arms in the arm holes and not as a cape
  • Put baby’s gloves on
  • Explain that Batman’s mum makes him wear a coat too to the protesting big one
  • Put baby’s gloves back on
  • Put my boots on
  • Do up the big one’s coat
  • Put my coat on
  • Stop the big one strangling himself with his scarf
  • Roll eyes and big sigh as the big one proclaims he needs a wee and removes his coat
  • Put baby’s gloves back on
  • Put my scarf and hat on
  • Remind big one to flush the chain and wash his hands
  • “Hurry up”
  • Give up on the big one being independent.  Put his coat, scarf and hat on for him.  Who needs ‘life skills’ anyway?
  • Search for baby’s missing glove
  • Locate missing glove and put back on baby’s hand
  • Put baby’s hat on
  • Discover big one has vanished and begin search
  • Locate big one playing with Lego and begin leaving the house negotiations
  • Maneuver buggy down the hallway
  • One final check that we’re good to go
  • Put baby’s gloves back on
  • Put baby’s hat back on
  • Open the front door to discover in the five minutes you have been faffing around and loosing your sanity it has started pissing it down
  • Internally sob
  • Locate rain cover for the buggy
  • Wrestle rain cover onto the buggy and wonder if you need an actual degree in engineering to be able to fit one of these things
  • Reprimand the big one for telling you to “hurry up”
  • Locate the big one’s wellies and curse yourself for not cleaning them after the last visit to the farm
  • Replace the big one’s shoes with muddy wellies and add ‘cleaning the floor’ to your to-do list
  • Check the baby
  • Give up on the baby’s gloves
  • Ready to go
  • Now where did I put the keys?

I keep telling myself it will be easier in the summer.  But then I remember the sun-cream stand offs!

Anyone else dance to a similar tune in the mornings?


I need superglue for those gloves!
I need superglue for those gloves!


You can read Part two – The Summer Samba here.


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14 Comments on The Leaving the House Dance – Part one

  1. Michelle
    January 26, 2016 at 10:26 pm (9 months ago)

    Yep all sounds very familiar! Was so much easier when little one could be strapped in the Bjorn, rather than wrestling two.

    • Lifeloveanddirtydishes
      January 2, 2015 at 1:49 pm (2 years ago)

      I’m going to have to add another hour once the baby starts walking!

  2. hannah mum's days
    January 2, 2015 at 10:02 am (2 years ago)

    Yep! But it does get easier, honest!!

    Thanks for linking up to #Thelist and supporting us through 2014!! Happy New Year xx

  3. Carry On Katy
    January 2, 2015 at 9:36 am (2 years ago)

    I’m with you on this one. Perhaps this is how Beyoncé gets inspiration for her choreography. Stick a drumbeat to your moves and a melody and you’ll be a world class dancer/ singer like her!
    I’d choose hats and gloves over suncream any day myself. It’s all too much! x

    • Lifeloveanddirtydishes
      January 2, 2015 at 1:47 pm (2 years ago)

      Ha ha I wish! I think my theme tune is more Benny Hill than Beyonce. I can dream though! 🙂

    • Lifeloveanddirtydishes
      December 19, 2014 at 10:55 am (2 years ago)

      The pre-school walk, I remember it well! How many leaves can we stop and pick up today?! x

  4. Emma Roberts
    December 16, 2014 at 1:52 am (2 years ago)

    This is like reading what happens in our house every morning.

  5. Spidermummy
    December 15, 2014 at 8:12 pm (2 years ago)

    Hahaa ummm yes. I wrote about our little morning crazy time a while ago, but with three children. Crazy I tell you, crazy! x

    • Lifeloveanddirtydishes
      December 17, 2014 at 11:51 am (2 years ago)

      Thing is I know once the baby is toddling it’s going to be a whole new ball game!

  6. gluestickmum
    December 13, 2014 at 3:27 am (2 years ago)

    Babies and toddlers do seem to be immune to frostbite. I think it must have to do with them not having had time to trash their circulation. Thus life is too short for hats/gloves.
    But, yes, cold weather school runs are the pits.


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