I don’t readily applaud anything Kanye West does, in fact I think the guy is first class knob, but in the case of his push present for Kim after the birth of Saint, I whole heatedly approve.  The pictures of the million dollar diamond choker around Kim’s neck complete with cleavage and seductive pout may have been a bit much before lunch, and certainly not something you want to show your Grandma.  But then again if I had a million dollar diamond choker maybe I wouldn’t want my clothes to detract from it either.  However, the sentiment behind the gift, I am on board with.


Push Presents


After the birth of my children I was euphoric.  Of course I was thrilled to finally meet the tiny human that had been kicking the crap out of my insides.  But there was definitely an element of ‘I am Woman, hear me roar’.  I wanted to be celebrated for what I had just done. I was so high on endorphin’s I half expected a ticker tape parade in my honour and Gary Barlow serenading me on the piano just before Ryan Gosling made a personal appearance with a bouquet of flowers.  

Yes I know women have been giving birth since the dawn of time, hell some even do it in the woods without a whiff of gas and air.  But not this woman. I’ve done it twice.  And quite frankly if having lots of strangers staring at your lady garden, and having stitches in your foo doesn’t warrant some kind of appreciation gift, I don’t know what does.

I’ve heard women argue that they didn’t want a push present because it was a joint effort between them and their partner.  Really?  Honestly that kind of schmaltzy statement makes me throw up in my mouth a little.  

I mean sure, they were there at the party when they deposited their initial ‘gift’.  And maybe they looked after you really well during your pregnancy and helped you shave your legs and put on your shoes.  But joint effort?  I don’t seem to recall my husband with his head down the toilet every day for 6 months.  I don’t recall him getting up in the night to pee every hour.  He never cried when his clothes no longer fitted him, or he had to replace alcohol with Gaviscon.  Maybe, just maybe, the pain of labour is the same as taking a kick to the testicles.  But I can’t seem to recall him ever being kicked in the testicles for 12 hours straight.  He’s certainly never squeezed a watermelon out of his arse.  There is no joint effort here.

And what about after the birth?  The post birth poo is almost as scary as the birth itself. We are sore, it hurts to sit down, and we may actually cry should we decide to check our stitches in the mirror*.  We are leaking from every orifice,  We’ve squirted milk into the babies eye form our exploding boobs. Our bodies have turned to a jelly like substance and puppies make us weep.  There’s a high chance we are not going to have a hot cup of tea for the next 6 months, and will probably average about 2 hours sleep a night for the foreseeable future.  We worry that we are never going to want or be able to have sex again, and the first time we do is kinda terrifying.  Our bodies have changed for ever.

Don’t tell me that the baby is the gift.  A miracle?  Yes.  A gorgeous little bundle that has filled my heart, turned my world on it’s head, and changed me forever? Absolutely.  I dreamt about meeting that tiny bundle before they were even conceived.  I spend hours every day staring at them in awe.  But as far as gifts go, I appreciate my gifts to be slightly less high maintenance and demanding of me.  

So yes, I think a small gift from the father of my child to say thank-you for making me a Daddy, and you are an amazing woman, should be a prerequisite.  I mean surely it’s just good manners!  It doesn’t have to be diamonds, or Gary Barlow, but a gesture, a token. Something I will always have to remind me how strong I can be.  In years to come to take me back me to when we started this journey together.  To give me perspective when the days are hard and the nights are long.  

Can we just change the name though? I mean push presents?  It sounds gross and whether those babies were pushed out, or pulled out, we all deserve some appreciation. 


*Never ever check your stitches in the mirror.  Some things cannot be unseen.

Thank-you to my husband who gave me push presents after the birth of both our boys, despite the fact that until I read him this post he had no idea what a push present was!

If you would like to nominate me for the Mumsnet Blogging Award in the ‘Best Writer’ or ‘Best Comic Writer,’ or you know, both… Please click here and enter my url (http://lifeloveanddirtydishes.com)

You might also like…

Overdue Thumbnail Advice for a new mum Being a mother





For all the latest posts subscribe to my weekly newsletter below or follow me on my social networks.  





If you like it then you should put a pin on it (Beyonce would) Pin this…


Push Present


I’ve shared this post on some of these fab linkys…

You Baby me Mummy Life With Baby Kicks Life With Baby Kicks Mum Muddling Through My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows Honest Mum Life, Love and Dirty Dishes The Mum Project Mumma Scribbles An Imperfect Mum And Then The Fun Began Mummy Fever This Mum's Life Cuddle Fairy Image HTML map generator

32 Comments on Push Present: Hell Yes!

  1. absolutely prabulous
    July 21, 2016 at 11:20 pm (3 months ago)

    I loved this post. Such a way with words as usual. And Arse. Why does that word still crack me up as an adult?! And oh my goodness, I may not be a high maintenance toe tapping ‘where’s my gift’ kinda gal but jeez louise please tel me people don’t actually say they didn’t want a gift cos of the joint effort thing. SO with you on how it’s SO not! #FridayFrolics
    absolutely prabulous recently posted…How has it come to this and when will it stop?My Profile

    • Life Love and Dirty Dishes
      July 21, 2016 at 11:27 pm (3 months ago)

      Yes people actually say that. They must still be high from the gas and air 😉

  2. Hayley McLean
    July 16, 2016 at 10:41 pm (3 months ago)

    YES!!! I was bloody furious not to get a push (or pull in my case…) present and I made it known…nice to know he pays attention, coz I’ve had 2 more babies since then and still no present…not even a bunch of shitty petrol station flowers!! Fuming. #FridayFrolics
    Hayley McLean recently posted…Siblings In JulyMy Profile

  3. Lucy at occupation:(m)other
    July 16, 2016 at 8:52 pm (3 months ago)

    Oh yes I too am on board this idea…not having received a push present (I agree not a good name!) first time round, maybe I’ll start dropping hints now for the second time. I completely agree about the child as a gift thing as well..it was my thirtieth birthday not long after giving birth and soooo many people kept saying ‘what a wonderful present’. NO no no no. For all the reasons you mention and more. Thanks for the mirror tip too #FridayFrolics

  4. DiscomBUBulated
    July 16, 2016 at 8:49 pm (3 months ago)

    Anything to cheer you up I think! I’ve had three and never had a push present…but I’m not having a fourth to get one! #FridayFrolics

  5. Suzanne
    July 16, 2016 at 7:40 am (3 months ago)

    I bought myself a present I was so damn proud. I’m not waiting for someone else to take the initiative. Gary Barlow and Ryan Gosling sound good though. #Friday frolics.

  6. Lisa Pomerantz
    July 16, 2016 at 12:06 am (3 months ago)

    I got the Mrs. a push present after the birth of Big. And after watching that experience, well deserved, bravo, standing o, and then some. I am and forever will be in awe of her. Giving birth to Little, ditto. I’m still in awe. And I am damned lucky I am the older Momma in this two momma house! Bravo on a brilliant post! #FridayFrolics

  7. Davina
    July 15, 2016 at 10:20 pm (3 months ago)

    I didn’t get a push present with either baby. In fact, the first one was born two days before our first wedding anniversary and I didn’t even get a present for that! In hindsight, it’s probably not a bad thing; I was so emotionally unstable for the first couple of weeks after each birth that I probably would have cried for hours if N had presented me with a well considered gift . #fridayfrolics
    Davina recently posted…SometimesMy Profile

  8. Kim
    July 15, 2016 at 9:37 pm (3 months ago)

    I also made the stitches in the mirror error….. I’m still recovering! And the term “push present” was used fairly loosely with us – more of a “pull present” as it was a forceps delivery haha I’ve also blogged about push presents recently, it would be great if you checked it out!

  9. laura dove
    July 15, 2016 at 8:02 pm (3 months ago)

    I never got a “push present” (although again, need to change that name!) with any of my five!! Not one!! I still harp on about how Gaz owes me three presents and he points to the kids and says, “There you go!”. Agghhh!! #fridayfrolics

  10. Mimi Rose & Me
    July 15, 2016 at 2:04 pm (3 months ago)

    Oh my goodness I couldn’t help but agree and giggle with you on this one. Yessss I can’t remember my husband pushing a watermelon out of his arse! too funny! Yes I did receive a lovely push present from the husband and I didn’t even ask…so that’s a bonus! 🙂 Great post lovely! #FridayFrolics

  11. Complicated Gorgeousness
    July 15, 2016 at 12:41 pm (3 months ago)

    I need to go back in time and get on to this trend. I just had a useless fecker that ate the snack bag and snoozed in the chair haha. Yes – push presents sound gross but Ryan turning up at your bedside should be enshrined into law I think #fridayfrolics

  12. Alison (MadHouseMum)
    July 15, 2016 at 11:46 am (3 months ago)

    I had no idea what a ‘push present’ was. Is it a new thing? I feel old! I love the fact your husband didn’t know what it was either! Your brilliant description of birth and the aftermath took me straight back to memories I had long forgotten…tried to forget anyway! But you made me laugh with your descriptions 🙂 Alison x #FridayFrolics
    Alison (MadHouseMum) recently posted…The Voice of Experience Talks Secondary SchoolMy Profile

  13. Ellen
    July 15, 2016 at 10:47 am (3 months ago)

    YES! I love this, definitely needs a re-naming though, you’re right. Oh god I made the mistake of checking my stitches. Grim. Yeah I definitely don’t think that labour is a joint effort. Obviously (if they are worth their salt) they are supportive but that’s like saying the people watching a marathon deserve a medal too – I don’t think so! We actually put this in our antenatal class on our list of things we wanted from a birth partner – in our defence it was at the bottom of the list but the midwife running the session seemed unimpressed, as did the partners… #FridayFrolics

  14. Squirmy Popple
    July 15, 2016 at 10:06 am (3 months ago)

    I was never brave enough to check my stitches in the mirror, and I’m glad I never did.

    I never heard the term ‘push present’ before. It’s kind of a gross name, but a nice idea. I’m going to remind my husband that he owes me one, even if it’s 13 months after the fact. #FridayFrolics
    Squirmy Popple recently posted…3 amazing things that other babies and toddlers can doMy Profile

  15. Muma on the Edge
    July 15, 2016 at 9:47 am (3 months ago)

    A Push present?! Urm: YES PLEASE!
    My husband is so lacking in the department of thoughtfulness that only 2 weeks after my csection with our first born was Mother’s Day- do you know what I got?
    A packet of those sea shell chocolates. Not.even.wraped.
    Some girls get all the luck… Diamond chokers indeed!! Haha!
    Great post, made me laugh!! Xxx

  16. Katie M Little
    July 15, 2016 at 5:25 am (3 months ago)

    Bloody hell! Push present – I’ve never even heard of that and I’ve pushed out three! My husband’s got some serious talking to do when I get home tonight! And he better not get me a Shark Steam Cleaner or whatever it’s called!
    Katie M Little recently posted…Up Shit Creek Without a PaddleMy Profile

  17. Mummy Muckups (Anna)
    July 14, 2016 at 10:44 pm (3 months ago)

    Oh LLADD…I went there…I got a mirror and checked out my foo and stitches (love that name by the way!!). Never to be unseen!! Horror. I wanted a gift. I dropped hints, had discussions about what my friends got. In the end? I got myself a pair of runners. Clearly still high on good feelings and eagerness to shift the first child baby weight. Delirious and sleep deprived more like it. Love it! #FridayFrolics
    Mummy Muckups (Anna) recently posted…SNOT FUNNYMy Profile

  18. the frenchie mummy
    July 14, 2016 at 10:26 pm (3 months ago)

    The push present is a gem lol and I also love your last sentence about your husband #FridayFrolics

  19. sarah
    July 14, 2016 at 9:48 pm (3 months ago)

    I appear to have missed a trick here. Hmm. #fridayfrolics

  20. Nicole - Tales from Mamaville
    July 14, 2016 at 9:35 pm (3 months ago)

    Had never heard this term before but I love it already! I pushed (and how) and boy did I need a present for it (no, the stitches and salt baths don’t count)!!! Lovely post. And here’s to a bigger, better Friday Frolics:)

  21. Jasmine
    July 14, 2016 at 8:59 pm (3 months ago)

    Oh my goodness yes! I would have loved a push present, something nice and sentimental. Instead I got a nurse ran puddle for a bath and a night of panicking that my baby was crying during the night when in fact baby was just as soundo as daddy was back at home in bed. Add to that the years of mothers day presents I buy myself!
    Doesn’t take much does it? Take note father’s!

  22. Julie
    July 14, 2016 at 3:37 pm (3 months ago)

    We definitely deserve appreciation, and yes no looking down there with a mirror after. Scary stuff.
    My early pushing present was getting to meet Jensen and Jared at a Supernatural convention. Our “family photo” is still hanging on the wall, giant belly and all.

  23. Lisa
    July 13, 2016 at 5:45 am (3 months ago)

    +1 for push presents. Still waiting for mine. Must show this to OH as I think it sums it all up nicely! And yes – looking at stitches with mirror is not a good move
    Lisa recently posted…Mammy Profile – BeckyMy Profile

  24. Sarah - Mum & Mor
    July 12, 2016 at 9:26 pm (3 months ago)

    I never got a push present, but my OH did bake a lovely cake for me when we got home. The sentiment is lovely, but presents aren’t really required for me.
    Sarah – Mum & Mor recently posted…A’s Naming PartyMy Profile

  25. Mummytomango
    July 11, 2016 at 9:57 am (4 months ago)

    I think its a nice idea. After the experience of giving birth to get a gift even if it is something small or sentimental.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment *

CommentLuv badge