I have this sign in my house.  House Rules.  I love the sentiment behind it.  Although in reality I don’t think the house rules are that straightforward or clear-cut.  In fact there seem to be many sub-clauses and loopholes to the house rules…


House Rules


Love One Another

Even when you think I am being unfair, when Daddy has said no, and when your brother bites you on the bum, love us.  Even when I’m “ruining your life” (a tad dramatic I felt), and when I am grumpy, and I don’t have the energy to talk about Harry Potter any more, know that I always, always love you. 


Say Please & Thank-you

When you say it unprompted it’s worth a whole lot more.  And when you say it in public and Mummy gets complimented on your good manners, you get treats.


Give Hugs & Kisses

  • Except for when you have a snotty nose.
  • When giving a hug please try to focus on giving that hug rather than what the Ninja Turtles are doing on TV.
  • Open mouthed kisses are acceptable when you are two.  Biting kisses are not.
  • Mummy and Daddy are allowed to hug and kiss each other without you trying to get in on the action.  At least sometimes!


If You Drop It Pick It Up

Notice that the name ‘Mummy’ does not appear in that sentence.  If YOU drop it pick it up. It does not say, ‘If you drop it MUMMY picks it up’.

You don’t have to pick things up that you haven’t dropped.  Especially if we are outside.  In that case, don’t pick it up, please just leave it where you found it.  And when you ignore this rule, please definitely do NOT put whatever you have just picked up in your mouth.  

As an addition to this rule, specifically for the youngest member of the family, how about maybe don’t drop anything at all.  No dropping shoes and socks from the buggy.  No dropping plates of food from the highchair – particularly baked beans. No dropping wet sponges from the bath.    


Eat Your Greens

Please.  Without me having to beg, bribe and bargain with you.  Without me having to ask you at least ten times.  Without sulking/whining/protesting and taking forever about it.  Please just eat them.  I don’t want thanks.  I don’t want compliments on my ability to steam veg.  I don’t care if you drown them in tomato ketchup, just eat them!


If You Open It Close It

Please do so without slamming.  Oh and by the way this rule also applies to the toilet seat.


Dream Big

This rule is solely reserved for your purpose in life and your ambitions.  In which case shoot for the stars.  This rule does not apply to your actual bedtime dreams.  This does not mean DREAM about BIG spiders and wake me up at 3 in the morning to check your room for said big spiders.


Laugh Learn Share Smile Forgive

I think we’re all good on the laugh, learn, smile and forgive.  The sharing one could do with a little more work though guys if I’m honest.  What’s yours is yours, and what’s mine is yours, right?  And whilst were on the subject of sharing, what’s the deal with bananas? Why do you always refuse a banana until I want one, and suddenly it’s the most desirable food you have ever seen?  


Share Chocolate

Unless it belongs to me.  In which case there will be no sharing of any kind, and those daring enough to ask will be given the death stare.  It is a universal law that giving birth to a child grants you immunity from sharing chocolate forever more.


Play Nice, Work Hard

Beating your brother over the head with a light saber doesn’t constitute as playing nice, even if he is being a “baddie” and you need to “destroy him.”

Leave the hard work to Mummy and Daddy for now.  Your time will come!  Just endeavor to do your best in all that you do.


No Whining

Whining will never ever get you what you want, unless what you want is a time out.  Plus it makes Mummy want to drink wine at unacceptable hours.


If You Turn It On Turn It Off

If you didn’t turn it on, leave it alone.  I am referring in this sub-clause mainly to Daddy.  If the landing light is on, it’s because I am upstairs hanging the washing out, and it really really helps to be able to see what I am doing.  The very fact that this is a sub-clause tells you how often this happens.


Be Honest

Even if you think it might get you in trouble.  If you always tell the truth I will always believe you.  And if you lie you will get spots on your tongue.


Now if only everyone followed the rules!

My House Rules sign was from Next, although this is not a sponsored post.


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House Rules

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14 Comments on House Rules

  1. Silly Mummy
    June 17, 2016 at 2:03 am (4 months ago)

    Haha – love it! Similar rules here! My littlest one yells at us and cries if we attempt to hug or kiss each other! #fridayfrolics

  2. Laura threesypeasy
    June 12, 2016 at 5:56 pm (4 months ago)

    Brilliant! Love your commentry around the house rules. I’m going to get one of these one day but as of yet none of the children can read yet it will have no impact. However the man of the house needs to take notice ‘will you pick your god dam socks up’ ha x love that about them picking EVERYTHING up out side – why is that??? Fab post thanks for histing

  3. Beta Mummy
    June 10, 2016 at 9:41 pm (4 months ago)

    This is so true – I’ve seen these sorts of signs before and thought, yup, agree with the basic sentiment, but I may just have to get my Sharpie out and “adjust” a few things…!
    Thanks for hosting #fridayfrolics

  4. Lianne
    June 10, 2016 at 8:51 pm (5 months ago)

    Very funny and spot on!

  5. Maddie Sinclair (@TheIndeparent @maddiesinclair)
    June 10, 2016 at 1:49 pm (5 months ago)

    They’re fab house rules. It gets them all in a nutshell. Bloody hell, the whining! I would circle that one too. The half term holidays were hard enough. Good help me during the summer! #FridayFrolics

  6. Petite Words
    June 10, 2016 at 12:20 pm (5 months ago)

    Great idea for a post. I totally agree in house rules, I love being free but give your child enough freedom and they don’t know what to do with themselves! Super list! And thanks for hosting (: My first week at your linky x

  7. Emma
    June 10, 2016 at 7:41 am (5 months ago)

    Oh I love this sign. Like Right Royal Mother the ‘you don’t have to pick it up if you didn’t drop it’. Why is it that in the house they refuse to pick up their rubbish but when you are out and about they will pick all of the disgusting stuff?? Mine seem to really like cigarettes….NOT IN THE MOUTH!! #fridayfrolics
    Emma recently posted…Naked bums welcome in this restaurantMy Profile

  8. Right Royal Mother
    June 10, 2016 at 6:12 am (5 months ago)

    Oh, YES to the ‘you don’t have to pick it up if you didn’t drop it’. Yesterday we came home with an old beer bottle top and a used Costa paper cup. I need to get tougher. #FridayFrolics
    Right Royal Mother recently posted…A Question of SportsAid Dishes for a DuchessMy Profile

  9. Mummy Muckups (Anna)
    June 10, 2016 at 4:55 am (5 months ago)

    Oh I cannot wait until the day my children can read this and recite it backwards. Love it! “Friday Frolics

  10. Hayley McLean
    June 10, 2016 at 3:48 am (5 months ago)

    Ha! This is brilliant…you should do your own range of signs! The picking things up outside is my favourite, mine do that constantly! #fridayfrolics

  11. the frenchie mummy
    June 9, 2016 at 11:04 pm (5 months ago)

    the no whining one would be a struggle in my house #FridayFrolics


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