Fed up?  Fit to burst?  Can’t remember what it feels like to be able to bend in the middle? Peed 25 times already today and it’s only 10 O’clock in the morning?  Ready to smack the next person who asks “haven’t you had that baby yet” in the face?

I feel your pain mamma.  I know you’ve already googled ‘ways to bring on labour,’ and at this point you are willing to try pretty much anything, so here is my lowdown on ways to bring on labour:


Pregnant belly Bring It on


1 Sex

If there’s one thing you are not going to feel when you are 9 months pregnant its amorous. Or sexy for that matter.  All your thoughts are about what is coming out of there, not what is going in.  Chances are your husband has felt the brunt of your crazy hormonal mood swings, and is not really in the mood after you yelled at him for buying the wrong ice cream flavour. You wanted slated caramel, not caramel damn it.  Put it this way, having sex to get the baby in there is a lot more fun than having sex to get the baby out.


2 Pineapple

Pineapple contains the enzyme bromelain which is said to soften the cervix in preparation for labour.  You have to eat large amounts of pineapple for it to work.  What quantifies as a large amount of pineapple? Half a pineapple? A whole pineapple?  Two whole pineapples? No. Seven apparently.  Seven whole friggin pineapples. What is this Man Vs Food?  Have you seen the size of my belly?  There’s no room for seven pineapples in there.


3 Hot Curry

Spicy foods are said to stimulate the tummy and the womb.  But don’t forget it can stimulate other occurrences down there too!  But hey, what’s a bit of Deli Belly when you spend most of your time waddling to the bathroom to pee anyway.  Give it a go, it might be your last hot meal for a while.


4 Walking

The pressure of your baby’s head pushes down on the cervix and releases oxytocin, a hormone that can cause contractions to start.  Of course, if you are overdue chances are your baby’s head is engaged and walking with a head very literally between your legs is easier said then done.  Off you waddle now.


5 Caster Oil

It acts as a laxative and stimulates your tummy and womb.  As if you weren’t already worried enough about shitting yourself during labour.  Also, not recommended by the professionals.  You know, the ones down the business end.


6 Nipple Stimulation

Said to release more of that oxytocin hormone that your body seems to be unwilling to produce of its own accord.  So if you are bored of daytime TV go ahead, have a tweak! Although your far more likely to be horrified by the sight of your swollen, veiny boobs and wonder if your nipples are always going to be this big.


7 Balloons

There’s a theory that blowing up balloons builds pressure in your abdomen and kick starts labour.  Whoever came up with that theory has obviously never been 10 days overdue, and huffing and puffing after the short walk to the bathroom (yes to pee, again).  And what are you supposed to do with all the effing balloons?


8 Birthing Ball

Bounce away, you never know it might shake things up a bit.  Or You’ll just stimulate your already way over stimulated bladder and pee your pants in the process.


9 Best Knickers

It is said to be sods law that if you are wearing your best knickers your waters will break. That’s if you can bend down in the first place to get them on, and that they still fit over your expanded arse.


10 Nothing

Sit back, relax and ignore all annoying well meaning phone calls.  Do all the things that you won’t be able to do for quite some time.  Paint your nails (not the toenails obviously as you haven’t seen your feet for 2 months now).  Read a book.  Drink a hot cup of tea.  Eat chocolate whilst you can still use the ‘eating for two’ excuse.  Your precious little bundle of joy won’t stay in there forever.  Even though at some point in the not to distant future you will be screaming for the gas and air and begging them to stay inside.


Pregnant belly

Thanks to my friend Mandy for allowing me to use her image of her pregnant belly.  Not only did she grow that beautiful bump, but she painted the picture too.


My babies were 10 days and 7 days overdue.  Every day overdue feels like a week!  

Did anything work for you or is it all just old wives tales?


You might also like…

Baby Books  Visiting Rules 




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27 Comments on 10 Ways to Bring on Labour – A Not so Helpful Lowdown

  1. Tori Gabriel
    February 25, 2016 at 9:36 pm (8 months ago)

    Great post but I am begging any women reading NOT to try castor oil! There is a reason it is not recommended by the professionals. There is a reason some places will refuse to sell it to pregnant women. It is so dangerous to the baby and can result in all sorts of problems and even death. There are many documented cases that highlight the dangers of castor oil. Please don’t risk it.

    (I’m writing from personal experience here. My brother’s baby died as a result of castor oil. It caused her to swallow the meconium).
    Tori Gabriel recently posted…The Night of The Evil Noisy ToyMy Profile

    • Life Love and Dirty Dishes
      February 25, 2016 at 10:24 pm (8 months ago)

      Tori, that’s awful. I honestly think that babies will come when they are ready and we should just leave it to nature. Xxx

  2. Alana
    July 26, 2015 at 8:06 pm (1 year ago)

    Blowing up balloons?! That’s one I didn’t come across! I swear walking and bouncing on a birthing ball helped me … I contemplated the pineapple, but seven is slightly excessive even when you’re desperate!
    Alana recently posted…What Santi Wore: Stripes and pineapplesMy Profile

    • Claire
      July 31, 2015 at 7:15 pm (1 year ago)

      Not to mention there is no room to eat a raisin, let alone a pineapple!

  3. Trista, Domesticated Momster
    July 26, 2015 at 6:03 pm (1 year ago)

    All 3 of mine were c~sections so I delivered one week prior to due date except with number 2. My doctor was on a fishing trip so I had the c~section on my due date. Thankfully I had an awesome doctor and recovered quickly and you can barely see my scar. Thanks for hosting #FridayFrolics.
    Trista, Domesticated Momster recently posted…~National Tequila Day~My Profile

  4. Kelly
    July 26, 2015 at 2:36 am (1 year ago)

    Seven pineapples??!! I have heard of that story too, but didn’t realise you had to eat that many! I had a c-section, so no advice to give sorry. #FridayFrolics
    Kelly recently posted…THE CURSE OF SELECTIVE HEARING – Guest PostMy Profile

    • Claire
      July 26, 2015 at 10:12 am (1 year ago)

      It’s a tad excessive isn’t it!

  5. Alice
    July 25, 2015 at 11:46 am (1 year ago)

    Very funny! I was really late with both of mine too. I have to say that sex did work for us, although neither of us actually enjoyed it!
    x Alice
    Thanks for hosting #fridayfrolics
    Alice recently posted…Lockway!My Profile

    • Claire
      July 26, 2015 at 10:11 am (1 year ago)

      not quite the same when it’s a chore!

  6. Emma
    July 25, 2015 at 7:18 am (1 year ago)

    I ate 4 whole pineapples! I had to give up my mouth was hurting too much. Waste of time didn’t work, maybe if I ate 7 though. Love these. I spent so long googling them when I was pregnant both times.
    Emma recently posted…#Snotallaboutyou – 22/07/15My Profile

    • Claire
      July 26, 2015 at 10:10 am (1 year ago)

      You get to a desperate point don’t you!

  7. TwinTownMum
    July 24, 2015 at 7:44 pm (1 year ago)

    ‘As if you weren’t worried enough about shitting yourself during labour.’ Ha ha! 🙂 My girlies were early (twins often are) but I find it interesting that I wasn’t told to avoid pineapple, nipple stimulation or blowing up balloons! #Fridayfrolics

    • Claire
      July 24, 2015 at 9:10 pm (1 year ago)

      They should add it to the list. Don’t drink alcohol and leave your nipples alone!

  8. Helen
    July 24, 2015 at 6:48 pm (1 year ago)

    At 38 weeks pregnant I bounced on the ball, wet myself and took myself off to hospital convinced my waters had broken. They were very polite when they broke it to me that i had merely voided my bladder. I tried all of these things and still got induced twice. Clearly have some kind of issue with letting go…..although apparently not the same issue with letting go of my bladder control. Great post. #fridayfrolics
    Helen recently posted…Shameless acts of parentingMy Profile

    • Claire
      July 24, 2015 at 9:08 pm (1 year ago)

      ha ha! You’re supposed to loose your dignity during, not before 😉

  9. Mummy Fever
    July 24, 2015 at 3:46 pm (1 year ago)

    None of this worked for me, tried it all and lots more. Baby number one, 2 weeks late, 4 sweeps and 3 goes at induction; baby number two, 9 days late and 2 sweeps; baby number 3, 12 days late, 4 sweeps and a date for induction; baby number 4, 12 days late, 6 sweeps and an induction ! #FridayFrolics
    Mummy Fever recently posted…Dining inMy Profile

    • Claire
      July 24, 2015 at 9:07 pm (1 year ago)

      It’s all rubbish! I was desperate enough to try them though!

    • Claire
      July 24, 2015 at 9:05 pm (1 year ago)

      I know, she’s very talented.

  10. Mama Zen
    July 24, 2015 at 8:42 am (1 year ago)

    Haha! I wish I had seen this post two year ago when I was over-due with my daughter! Balloons eh? Who new? 🙂 Thanks for hosting. !!

    • Claire
      July 24, 2015 at 9:04 pm (1 year ago)

      Nothing works! At least not for me!

  11. Emily-Jane
    July 24, 2015 at 7:04 am (1 year ago)

    Great post! Both my babies were early so I was not quite ready for them! Any tips on not bringing on labour? !!
    Emily-Jane recently posted…Snooze Night: from Sleep Thief HQMy Profile

    • Claire
      July 24, 2015 at 12:34 pm (1 year ago)

      Cross your legs???!!!

  12. Claire Ridewood
    July 24, 2015 at 5:57 am (1 year ago)

    Great post… just as well I’m not pregnant, I would have been to the loo seveal times just reading your post… giggle incontenance I used to call it! #fridayfrolicks
    Claire Ridewood recently posted…Make it Simple #3My Profile

    • Claire
      July 24, 2015 at 9:02 pm (1 year ago)

      I can’t say my bladder ever returned to normal!

  13. Fionnuala
    July 20, 2015 at 8:29 pm (1 year ago)

    All three of mine were overdue, in summer with temperatures of 30 and upwards. Not nice, I can tell you. The old sit-back-and-wait worked for me but Number Three had to be induced on the end.
    Fionnuala recently posted…A Family Camping Holiday in Frankonia, GermanyMy Profile

    • Claire
      July 22, 2015 at 7:21 pm (1 year ago)

      Heat and overdue would have made me hell to live with!


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